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The Cow Diet Craze That is Sweeping the Nation

'Oh My Cud!"

By Rebekah Webb
Friday, June 28, 2013

(SNN) - I’m a proud franchise owner of Cow Diet Inc.

Have you tried every diet out there? Has the South Beach Diet left you high and dry? Did the Atkins Diet wine you and dine you, then never call? Did the Cabbage Soup Diet beat up your best friend and steal your lover?

Well, I have the answer for you. The Cow diet is a revolutionary way to eat that not only melts the pounds away, but makes your hair silky smooth and gets rid of chronic foot odor. The Cow Diet is simple:  Eat all you want, but only after it has been digested and regurgitated by a trained Cow Diet Regurgitation Specialist.

How the Cow Diet works:

The nutrients in un-digested food are all contained within a wall of dense cellular fiber. When a person eats un-digested food, their bodies have to work overtime to break it down into the proper nutrients. This causes the body to require more energy to complete this task and that, in turn, causes more hunger signals to be sent to the brain. You end up eating more just to digest the food that is already in your system.

With pre-digested food, the cellular wall locking away the nutrients is destroyed, allowing your digestive tract to absorb the nutrients straight, with minimal expenditure of energy. You will no longer have to eat as much to get the proper amounts of nutrients, plus you’ll find that you don’t have to spend as much time chewing and wasting precious minutes of your day spearing solid food with a fork.

Preparing pre-digested food is a highly specialized task that takes years of training and physical conditioning to form the food into proper pre-digestion that hits the right balance of digestion and nutrient content. You will need to get your food from a licensed Regurgitation Specialist to make sure you get the full benefit of the Cow Diet.

Take the next step in your health journey! Start the Cow Diet today!

Photo by: Alexandre Pereira  flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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