news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Top 10 Benefits of the US Government Shutdown


10) Post Office unaffected. Junk mail deliveries will continue.
9) NSA will not be listening to our phone calls.
8) Fewer TSA workers will clog airports with pesky security procedures
7) Wall Street job creators are now free from excessive regulation.
6) Since nobody listens anyway, National Public Radio can play “Science Friday” reruns 24/7.  
5) Federal workers can watch porn from home instead of the office. 
4) To make payroll, US Patrol agents will sell their confiscated pot in Colorado. 
3) Fewer federal safety inspectors will get hurt at hazardous job sites. 
2) Nuclear waste disposal process is vastly simplified. 
1) Wal-Mart is hiring 70,000 people who will immediately qualify for welfare and food stamps.


Photo by: JMC Photo Flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.
 

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
More from R.S. Gompertz

 

Recent

Most Viewed

Promote Your Business


Social Activity



Top ^