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Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is working on.


Pot Industry Turns Conservatives On

(SNN) - “In a blatant attempt to get pot legalized nationwide,” the speaker at a symposium at the Newseum said, “the pot lobby has gotten the Republicans in Congress’s attention with demands for less regulation, keeping big government out of their business, lowering taxes and their support for a Constitutional amendment to ban abortions.”


Politicians Praise Credit Card Companies for Helping Consumers Save

(SNN) - Americans need to save at least 10% of their paycheck, experts say. Now credit card companies have stepped up to help by adding it to their customers’ monthly balances. And Congress sees no problem with credit card companies charging consumers 27% interest on the unpaid balances.


Ted Nugent Sings “The Ballad of Bundy"

(SNN) - “The song’s about the most heroic man of our times, who with a band of militiamen, make a stand to deny the existence of the US government and refuse to pay taxes and fees for using public land,” Nugent’s publicist said.


NRA Appalled Bloomberg’s Trying to “Buy” Gun Control Legislation with His Wealth

(SNN) - “He’s trying to Big Gulp the will of the people,” said NRA’s president Wayne LaPierre in a press conference. “ And it’s time for the people to stand their ground and get money out of politics.”


Ed Toolis, author of “There’s an App for That” Read a sample of his book, “There’s an App for That”

 

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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