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Missing from The Marriage Debate: How to Tell When It's Kaput

(SNN) - All of the discussion on marriage equality has me thinking ... everyone really should have the right to marry. Otherwise they will be forced to send out for aggravation.

What is being neglected in the discussion are the ways to tell that a relationship may be coming to its final conclusion 

The following are subtle cues that it could be over:

  • You ask him whether anything is bothering him and he sets fire to your dress.
  • You discover he has joined the group “Parents Without Partners”
  • He occasionally introduces you to his friends and business associates as his “former wife.”
  • He rents a giant billboard reading, “I LOVE YOU MYRNA.” Your name is not Myrna.
  • You return from shopping and find all the locks have been changed. As you search for an open window, you see him inside ... “napping” with an old army buddy.

If any of these apply, I suggest it may be time to meet up for a teensie tiny chat at the coffee shop. 

But mind you ... these are only guidelines!

Jan Marshall is a  Humor Columnist, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and Motivational Speaker.  Her latest book,"Dancin Shmancin with the Scars" can be purchased online.  For more information about Jan please visit her website at The Sage is proud to feature Jan Marshall and her unique and very funny insights.

Photo by: Anonymous9000 flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor this article endorsed.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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