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Texting Behind Increase in Irritable Vowel Syndrome

(SNN) - Since the onset of text messaging, writers, teachers, journalists, linguists and other language conscious beings have watched our beloved English language PROPER morph before their very eyes into a series of sentences consisting of one-letter words, almost always a consonant.  Vowels have taken a beating in communication technology, as textspeak has all but eradicated their use; ie. 'btw' for by the way, 'thx' for thanks and 'brb', be right back, are a few examples. Many feel it's an injustice to our native language that vowels have been punted by the textilians who have initiated this new form of communication. 

Concerns abound; will this affect the way children learn grammar/spelling? Will the original spelling be lost?  What happens to our 'longhand' form of writing? As a result, physicians are reporting an alarming increase in adult patients complaining that the cyphertext is the cause of 'inconsonant' symptoms accompanied by the discomfort of Irritable Vowel Syndrome (IVS). Besides irritability, the condition presents symptoms such as anxiety, gastrointestinal pains, colon and semicolon distress, apostrophe confusion, headaches, verbalization difficulty and tongue-in-cheek syndrome.

As it turns out, the experts insist that the texting encryption is merely another chapter in our ever-evolving vocabulary; that is, our basic language stays intact despite constant change in ridiculous amounts of slang, certain word meanings altered over time, and still others that move in and out of mainstream communication as popularity and political correctness dictate.Those affected with IVS can relax as outside of the world of the superficial text-speak, our idioms, reflexive verbs and dangling participles remain solid in the bowels of our English language. TTYL.

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