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Another Snippet from Fox News - Minimum Wage

In case you missed it.

(SNN) - “Of course, raising the minimum wage would be a job killer,” Denton Thruston, from the Institute for the Preservation of Capitalism in America, shouted at Emily Rydell, of Politicians Are Making Americans Dumber. “Donald Trump said that if he’d had to pay that, he’ll have no choice but to tell 38,000 of his employees, ‘You’re fired.’” 

“But the CBO says that it will not only lift 900,000 out of poverty,”  Ms. Rydell reminded him, “it would save taxpayers millions on food stamps and Medicaid expenses.”

“And if you believe that, I have a climate change to sell you, ” Mr. Thurston shot back. He then turned to the viewing audience and stated, “Look, the socialist experiment to end poverty has done just the opposite.” He started counting off on his fingers. “Like I say in my book, Why Liberals Refuse to End Poverty in America, the only proven way to end the dependency of millions on the government is to eliminate unemployment insurance, so people will have no choice but to get a job, and increase jobs by lowering the minimum wage and ending overtime, so job producers can compete with China -”

“And if they don’t have enough to buy essentials,” Ms. Rydell quickly added with a sneer, “there’s always food pantries and spending the rest of their lives being an interest-rate slave to credit card companies.” 

“And that’s not to mention the billions American taxpayers could save,” Mr. Thurson said annoyed at being interrupted,  “if the Obama administration made those people into productive citizens by offering them unpaid internships in OSHA, EPA, FDA and so on.”

“If the Amish can survive, living well below the poverty line,” Ms. Rydell muttered under her breath, “I imagine the 99% will be able to do it, too,”

“And for the life of me, “ Mr. Thruston continued louder, “I just don’t understand why the millions of poor people, not to mention millions of the middle class, aren’t marching on Washington and contributing to my PAC, to prevent the Obamacare for workers from getting traction in Congress.”

“And if all else fails, they can always live off the millions their grandfathers passed down to them, like you did.”

“And let’s face it. If American businesses didn’t think all this was a great idea, why do you think they’d be giving us Republicans hundreds of millions of dollars, to make sure Republican candidates win in the next election?”

Photo: Some Rights Reserved by Adam Fagen  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

Ed Toolis’ website –

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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