Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is Working On
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
RNC Hires Psychiatric Consultant to Help Win 2016 Election
(SNN) - Not to cure the Tea Party of their many self-defeating character flaws, like their adamant support of the lunatic rantings of Cliven Bundy, “We are going to figure out what’s wrong with that part of the public, who still votes Democratic, and doesn’t see the rancher as a superhero for liberty and the American way,” said a fund-raising letter. The plan is to come up with ads for the 2016 election that will cure that segment of the population of their condition.
Glenn Beck’s Jesus Pancake Starts Twitter Meme Outburst
(SNN) - As of this printing, 387 pancakes, also with portraits that look nothing like Jesus, have been uploaded to Twitter. And then there’s the 71 of Miley Cyrus, 89 of Lady Gaga, 29 of Michael Jackson and 22 of Snoopy from Peanuts, just to name a few of the hundreds. And that’s not to mention a dozen death threats posters have gotten for uploading pancakes supposedly depicting Mohammed.
RNC Takes Action after Chelsea Truthers Exposes Hillary’s Pregnancy-Gate
(SNN) - “Two can play that game,” a representative said, referring to the supposed timing of a blessed event as a PR stunt to help Hillary get the nomination. “Our nominee will have a dozen grandchildren in the oven, timed for the last few weeks before the election.”
Ed Toolis, author of “There’s an App for That”
More Satire News
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Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
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Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
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How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
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North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
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Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
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It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
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Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
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My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
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Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
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Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...