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Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is working on.

Scientists Grow First Penis in Lab

(SNN) - “And I just know all those cracks about breast-implants I made to the women in the office are going to come back to haunt me,” said one man on the nation’s largest men’s support group website. Another added, “My wife has already told me, that the next time I screw up big time, that’s going to be the first thing I’m going to have to do; so, I won’t have to spend the rest of my married life sleeping in a lawn chair in the garage.”

Tea Party Outraged Democrats Crossed Party Lines to Defeat Their Candidate

(SNN) - “How dare they do that in a democracy,” said the defeated candidate, refusing to concede the election without a court challenge.

ESPN: Can Our Sportcasters Use the R-Word on the Air?

(SNN) - Now that the U.S.Patent Office has revoked the R_____’s trademark, because the word is offensive, the network’s legal team is frantically studying the issue.

Pope Excommunicates Mafia

(SNN) - And Catholics worldwide pray to God the mob doesn’t put a hit out on him.

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DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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