Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is working on.
Saturday, August 02, 2014
Helicopter Moms Upgrade to Drone Moms
(SNN) - “Now, I never have to worry about my son when he’s out playing,” said a typical mom, showing off her drone. “If he’s playing baseball with older kids, I can give him encouraging words. If he does something adorable, the software automatically uploads a pic to Instagram. If he heads to the playground equipment in the park, I can disinfect it before he climbs on it. And if bullies try to give him a hard time, I can get him in trouble with his mom by shooting him with the paintball gun.”
New Study on Illegals Uncovered Surprising Fact
(SNN) - 1 out of 110 foreigners, out of the 11 million, living in the US without proper documents is a US citizen who has denounced their citizenship, so they can pay lower taxes elsewhere. And the Democrats in Congress want those Republicans arrested and deported.
Nazis Unhappy that Supreme Court Has Struck Down Buffer Zones
(SNN) - “How are we supposed to exercise our Free Speech rights,” a group leader told a reporter, as dozens of laughing onlookers took pics and uploaded them to Facebook, “when we can’t get the police to keep the counter-demonstrators from joining us, dressed in the costumes of Nazi drag-queens and sadomasochistic dominatrixes?”
Pope’s Twitter Page Overwhelmed by Trolls
(SNN) - After he said in a speech that childless couples are selfishly pursuing their own happiness, pouring their love into their “two cats and a little dog,” pet owners worldwide took the Lord’s name in vain on his Twitter feed.
Read a sample of Ed Toolis’ book, There’s an App for That
More Satire News
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Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
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Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
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How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
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North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
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Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
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It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
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Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
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My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
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Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
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Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...