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FAA Approves New Airline; 'Brawl Airways'

Photo: The Calm Before the Storm

(SNN) - The FAA announced their approval of the newest entrant into the crowded skies, Brawl Airways.  Jack Wings, the FAA’s official spokesperson, remarked, “Tension in the skies is ratcheting up and we wanted a way to defuse passenger aggression.  This new service appears to be a step in the right direction.”

President and CEO of Brawl, Mr. I.M. Bully, indicated their service starts in the next few weeks to all major US cities.  “Ticket prices won’t be cheap but our service is unique.  We definitely have the stressed out passenger in mind,” he remarked.

Services will include push and pull seats, free plastic bats and $1 water pistols along with flight attendants trained as referees.  Screaming, hitting and spraying are encouraged whenever another passenger annoys you.     

Meal service includes cream pies, soft cookies, ice cream and licorice.  All these items are easily thrown without fear of injury.  The extensive liquor list, all served in small plastic bottles, encourages passengers to imbibe.  The Brawl Airways motto is “just one more.”  Bottled water is available for $1 and water pistol refills are free.  Soda and juice are not available as this type of weapon -aluminum cans -are not allowed. 

Mr. Bully says the initial flights from LA to New York City for the first week are already over booked.   He recommends passengers bring an extra change of clothing in their carry on luggage.  He says with a smile, “it’s guaranteed to get messy.” 

Unaltered PhotoSome Rights Reserved by Kevin Dooley  flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here

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