BREAKING NEWS ITEMS: What we are working on.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Real Reason ADD Drugs Given to Grade School Kids Found
(SNN) - “Everyone expects my generation to make sure the American Dream remains the envy of the world,” said the middle schooler, who discovered the truth while doing a science project. “And if the schools think we’re not one-hundred percent gung-ho on academics, they pump us full of ADD drugs, to make sure we stay focused on that.”
Stock of the Wall Street Investment Firm that Hired Eric Cantor Plummets
(SNN) - Since he has no Wall Street experience whatsoever, investors feared he’ll be just as bad for the company as he was for the country when he was the majority leader in Congress.
Texas Pulls a Scotland
(SNN) - Polls before the online referendum showed that the votes for and against Texas secession were too close to call. And Rick Perry was really pissed that Obama didn’t come begging them not to leave.
Boarding Planes Now Take Longer than Going through TSA Inspections
(SNN) - And a spokesperson for the industry said, “We’re doing the best we can, but it’s all about preventing in-flight arguments and fistfights. And it can take hours of musical chairs to match overweight people up with skinny people, match people who aren’t interested in reclining up with tall people and laptop users, and to match the deaf up with incessant cellphone gabbers.
Read a sample of Ed Toolis’ book, There’s an App for That
More Satire News
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Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
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Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
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How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
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North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
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Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
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It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
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Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
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My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
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Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
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Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...