Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is working on.
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Alicia Keys Posing Nude for Charity Sends Charity Industry into Chaos
(SNN) - “She got an enormous response, with 92% of contributors being men,” said the horrified spokesperson for the Association of Charitable Organizations, at their annual convention. “And now not a single man in charge of corporate giving says they’ll part with a dime, until they see a striptease by yet another hot female celeb.”
Fox News Fashion Consultant Has Advice for Obama
(SNN) - After they criticized him, saying that a tan suit was inappropriate for talking about such serious subjects as foreign policy and the threat of ISIS, a consultant was brought in to show him what color suit and tie to wear.
Full Figure Appreciation Month Declared by Congress
(SNN) - Tight off-year elections result in strange campaign tactics. For instance, when Congress found out that 64% of all female voters were full-figured, regardless of ethnicity, Republicans came up with the bill, and not a single Democrat had the courage to vote against it. And to get the most mileage out if it, it’s getting crazier. A dozen Republicans are leading the anti-Vogue/Glamour parade, in New York City’s fashion district. And Democrats are not only presenting the awards at the Full Figure Entertainer of the Year celebration, they’ve allocated over $400 million in subsidies to make sure America’s full-figure clothing industry remains the dominant leader in the world.
Read a sample of Ed Toolis’ book, There’s an App for That
More Satire News
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Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
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Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
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How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
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North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
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Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
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It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
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Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
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My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
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Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
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Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...