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Wednesday, October 22, 2014
FCC Considering Fine for Butt-Dialing 911 Calls
(SNN) - “This is not a laughing matter,” the FCC commissioner yelled at reporters at a press conference.
“Up to fifty percent of the 84 million 911 calls every year are the result of accidental butt-pocket dials. It’s a huge waste of taxpayers’ dollars. It pisses off EMS workers. It causes delays. And butt-dialers need to pay big time.”
As a result of the press conference, both Apple and Google have announced that butt-pocket-detection sensors will be included in the next version of their phones, to prevent such calls.
Heartbreak Can Be Reduced with Over-the-Counter Pain Relievers, Study Says
(SNN) - In a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, researchers said that, since the pain of heartbreak activates the same area of the brain that physical pain does, over-the-counter pain relievers will work just fine.
And as a result, aspirin and ibuprofen manufactures are now claiming, in TV commercials, that their products not only work best for relieving the pain of a broken heart, they’re also best for relieving the pain of disastrous dates, the pain of turning fifty already, and the pain of losing $100, because your favorite football teams lost in the last few minutes of the game. Hundreds more are in the works.
Kim Jong-Un Turns YouTube-Video Forensics into a New Form of Entertainment
(SNN) - It all started with everyone asking, Why hasn’t he appeared publicly to make additional threats to nuke the United States - or a Hollywood studio for mocking him in a film? And now you can experience the joy of creating a conspiracy theory, just like the panelists on Fox News.
Check out the latest Kim Jong-Un video, speculate on what’s really going on, upload a video of your idea to YouTubeVideoForensics.ca, and you just may end up being a regular on the Daily Show.
Read a sample of Ed Toolis’ book, There’s an App for That
More Satire News
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Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
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Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
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How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
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North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
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Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
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It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
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Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
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My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
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Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
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Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...