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Russian Lawmakers Propose New Anti-Gay Legislation

Nationalism on the Rise in Russia

By Artur Filik
Wednesday, November 19, 2014

(SNN) - Nationalism is on the rise in Russia as it has never been before and with it, strong anti-gay sentiments always follow.

Just a few weeks ago, a giant statue of an iPhone had been taken down in St. Petersburg. Many people may be surprised that a giant iPhone statue even existed in Russia, but probably no one was surprised when it had been taken down because of Tim Cook’s announcement that he is gay.

This encouraged Russian lawmakers to go after other things, no matter how remotely they may be related to gay people. Just days after the statue has been removed, the Russian Duma has already introduced a draft of a much tougher anti-gay law.

As part of the new law, all computers will now be banned in Russia, because Alan Turing, who was gay, is widely recognized as the man who invented modern computing. To create a massive incentive for people to voluntarily give up their PC’s, a massive campaign has begun, with numerous collection points opened all across the country. These collection points offer people three bottles of Vodka in exchange for their PC’s and have so far been a massive hit.

Another part of the law says that all music that has anything to do with gay people will also be banned, virtually banning all music in Russia. With only government approved Russian songs still legal, local favorite rapper "Siava" has propelled to the top of the Russian charts thanks to hit singles like this:

In light of the newly proposed legislation, celebrations where held all over Russia, with crowds of people gathering in city squares, burning Elton John and Freddie Mercury posters and dancing the night away to Siava’s latest hits.

Some people even thought that the new laws were not strict enough, as they did not include banning the legacies of Leonardo Da Vinci or Socrates, who might very well have been gay. Russian lawmakers responded to the accusations, stating that they were not familiar with Leonardo Da Vinci or Socrates, but they will definitely look into banning them too.

Image: Some Rights Reserved by Adam Groffman. The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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