
North Korean News Network Attacks SNN for Kim Jong-Un Article
Tuesday, December 02, 2014
(SNN) - “On Monday,” an anchorwoman at the NKNN said, “the Sage News Network ran a blatantly untrue article about Kim Jung-Un being sentenced to hard labor because of his unpaid parking tickets. But unlike what we air, everything that the SNN prints is a lie. . . . As everyone knows, North Korea is the envy of the world, when it comes to the availability of free street parking - although we do have a horrendous problem with bicycle parking.”
She then went on to deny that North Korean hackers were responsible for breaking into the SNN website, making its content available to anyone in the world, for free, like has been alleged to have happened at Sony. This despite the fact that she did freely admit that they were responsible for making "The Sexual Inadequacy of My Husband in the Bedroom", the kiss-and-tell memoir of the wife of the article writer, available to everyone in the world at no cost.
In an official statement, the SNN has said, “We don’t care how many times the North Korean government threatens the Canadian people with a nuclear attack, we will not hand over the writer of the article for extradition to North Korea to face trial. And we would never, ever make up such a story, for the sole purpose of getting tons of free worldwide publicity, so we can dramatically increase our readership.”
RELATED NEWS: Kim Jong-un Arrested: Faces 5000 Days at Labour Camp 22
Read a sample of Ed Toolis’ book, There’s an App for That
Image (cropped) : Some Rights Reserved by Austin English flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.
More Satire News
-
Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
-
Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
-
How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
-
North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
-
Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
-
It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
-
Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
-
My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
-
Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
-
Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...