Writer of Controversial Kim Jong-Un Article Does Q&A via Social Media
Wednesday, December 03, 2014
(SNN) - Q: The North Korean News Network says that if you don’t surrender, they’re going to have millions of pizzas and Chinese food orders delivered to the Canadian people, using our stolen credit card numbers. Why are you putting us through this?
- Let me make this clear. My constitutional right to expose Kim Jung-Un’s flagrant violation of his own parking laws outweighs the Canadian government’s need to protect its national security, the lives of all the secret agents they have in North Korea and the people’s credit scores.
Q: Now that you’re a household name, aren’t you afraid you’ll be recognized, no matter what country you’re hiding in? After all, everybody’s checking everyone out, hoping to score the quarter of a million dollar reward that’s on your head.
- No. I converted all my pics on Facebook over to the man who gave me my first job as a reporter, and then fired me three months later, saying I would never amount to anything in this business (laughs). And I just love those pics of him jumping off bridges into rivers and the campfires he’s left, with uneaten squirrels still on the sticks being used as a rotisserie.
Q: Your biography in Wikipedia. Is all that really true?
- Don’t believe a word of it. Everything in there is a blatant attempt to smear my good name and my many sexual exploits. And further, I do not own stock in any pizza or Chinese food chain. That’s the problem with the digital media age. Anyone can create a falsehood and everyone in the media repeats it, as if it's fact, without bothering to verify the facts.
Q: About your wife’s memoir, that has struck a cord with hundreds of millions of women. Don’t you at least feel guilty about that?
- (crosses heart and hopes to die) She never wrote any damn memoir. And the only reason she’s going on Oprah, Ellen DeGeneres, and The View is get the public to finally believe her.
Do you have questions for Brian Hahn follow this link to send him a message.
Read the original story that started this International incident.
DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More Satire News
-
Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
-
Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
-
How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
-
North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
-
Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
-
It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
-
Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
-
My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
-
Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
-
Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...