news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is working on.

“War on Christmas” Comes to Fox News for Yet Another Season

(SNN) - In the tradition of Orson Welles’ famous 1938 radio program, “War of the Worlds,” Fox tries to touch off nationwide hysteria by claiming that sinister forces are conspiring to take Jesus out of Christmas, with things like Black Santas' “Season Greetings” signs and actually feeding the poor, rather than making the lazy bastards get jobs.

Guess Who’s Really Behind the Drive to Get Cops to Wear Cameras

(SNN) - The TV Show Cops, that’s who. They want to have online shows in every city and have already offered the Ferguson Police Department millions for their footage.

Investigation Finds Real Cause of Why Brain Scans Are Done So Often

(SNN) - “It all started when someone leaked the results of a study to us,” said a Cosmo press release. “And the study found that when male subjects were shown the photographs of the women they loved, a particular center of the brain lit up. And within weeks, tens of thousands of women demanded that their husbands be tested, using their photos plus the photos of their sisters, the women the menfolk work with, and so on.”

Greatest Do-Nothing Congress in History Outraged that Obama Is Going to Do Something

(SNN) - “Our whole plan is to decrease the size of the government by not approving any appointments and by not passing any meaningful legislation,” said Mitch McConnell. “And doing our job by using executive action, on the immigration issues, is dictatorship.”

Read a sample of Ed Toolisbook, Theres an App for That

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More from Ed Toolis



Most Viewed

Promote Your Business

Social Activity

Top ^