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What to Eat When you Read (more wacky unsolicited advice)

By Melodie Campbell
Thursday, March 17, 2016

(SNN) I like to get in the mood, when I’m reading.  Here’s my list of how to pair your nosh to your book:

Westerns

Riders of the Purple Sage.  Cow country.  This would suggest a certain menu.  Steak, medium rare. Tempting, but hard to cut a steak while simultaneously holding a book and turning pages.  Really, Mel Brooks had the right idea.  Beans, and plenty of them.  Make sure you’re NOT reading in public.

Chick-lit

Slipping into the realm of the unknown here.  Chicks are slim young things, right?  They would eat salad.  I hate salad.  Ergo…hand me a western.

Action-Adventure

The trouble with Bond-clone movies and books is you’re apt to spill your martini with all that racing around in the plot.  Things blow up a lot in the action-adventure genre.  This might suggest popcorn.  But make sure you pop it before you eat it.  Keep the explosions to your book.  (Or switch to westerns.)

Horror

This is obvious.  Ribs.  Dripping with BBQ sauce. Herself's personal additions: Cilantro and goat cheese <<shivers>>

Romance

Chocolate.  

CanLit  (Literature, for all you American types.)

It will be unusual, expensive, and unpalatable. You won’t “understand” why others think it is so good.  Your palate has not been suitably developed to appreciate such fineness.  Caviar.  Escargot (it always sounds so much better in French.) Duck liver (you can look up the French spelling.)  If you get beyond the first bite (er…page one,) Yay for you.  Hard to read – hard to eat.

Mystery

Should be obvious, right?  Chinese food!  Get someone else to order it for you, so the mystery deepens.

Fantasy

Try to find Ambrosia.  They really dig it on Olympia.  If you can’t find that, substitute ice cream.  (I know. You thought I was going to say wine). But my fantasy is ice cream with a suitably delicious Greek God-ling.  Okay, he doesn’t have to be a God yet.  Just young and Greek.  Okay, this is slipping into erotica…

Erotica

Forget the oysters, artichokes, or other silly vegetable-type aphrodisiacs. (Fish is almost a vegetable. Trust me.) The answer is more chocolate.  (Silly. That’s the answer to almost anything.)

Sci-fi

KIND nut bars.  Okay, is the metaphor too obvious?

What to Eat if you’re a Writer:

Coffee.

And humble pie.

Melodie Campbell’s latest mob comedy, The Goddaughter Caper, has just been released.  It’s an offer you can’t refuse.  No, really.  Buy it.  Available at all the usual suspects.

Photo Credit: Image from studio tdes flickr photostream. Some rights reserved under CC Attribution 2.0. Original image can be found here.

More from Melodie Campbell
 
DISCLAIMER: The above article is OPINION.The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Opinion and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.

 

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