news director

Please Support our Sponsors

Search Results

Search results for:
John OR Cork OR Corcoran Jr.

Search News Articles:

    258 matches found.
  • Cork and the Geez Get the Summertime Blues
    Photo: Which we all know there is no cure for.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., summer, movies, film, critics
    (SNN) It's Summer Doldrum Time and the Old Coot and The Geezer are flummoxed and partially agog.  Cranky, too, because we caught them before their mid-morning eye-opener. In fact, the cantankerous  twosome are so miffed, one couldn't find a movie he could stand to see, and the other said he just saw a flick that made him feel like a monkey's uncle. We caught America's cogiest critic team between naps, and here's...

  • Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
    Photo: Cork rocks senior duffer chic

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., golf, seniors, duffers
    (SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar to golf that doesn’t come with a warning label. My friend the author Paul Dickson put together a hilarious and informative book some years back called: “The Official Rules for Golfers.” I’m...

  • The Day Chuck Berry Changed His Mind
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Chuck Berry, Music, Rock Music, Guitar
    (SNN) There have been some informative and well written tributes to rock & roll great Chuck Berry since his death March 18th—many by people who knew him, interviewed him, or have written about rock & roll all their lives. Instead of that, here's an inelegant yarn about my own Chuck Berry interview moment—complete with O. Henry twist. I met the late, great Chuck Berry at a James Brown concert back in the early...

  • Last-Time Chime for the Gonger-in-Chief
    Photo: We'll miss the "Father of Reality TV"

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Chuck Barris, Gong Show, TV
    (SNN) When I was a young writer I did entertainment pieces for the Dow Jones owned, late, great, and lamented, The National Observer. That was a weekly national newspaper, now long out of business, but a prototype for the type of publication that reached fruition with USA Today. I was there when "The Gong Show"--hosted by Chuck Barris—who just died at age 87—debuted on NBC. I was assigned to review it. My problem as a reviewer...

  • Cork and the Geez Talk Oscars
    The much-anticipated Fuddy Duddy Report

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Oscars, Academy Awards, Movies, Movie Critics
    The Old Coot & the Geezer analyze what went wrong and what went right at the Academy Awards this year, review the show, and recommend who should host next year. The duo are America's most respected fuddy-duddy film comentators and are proud never to have been tweeted by the President of a major studio or the United States. Between them they own several prestigious awards and more than 11 pair of socks. -  John "Cork" Corcoran,...

  • Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress:   Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”)   10. Most academy award nominations for a movie about the hopes and dreams of young people who come to Los Angeles to fulfill their hopes and dreams of coming to Los Angeles, voted by people who came to Los Angeles and fulfilled the hopes...

  • Cork and the Geez Dish on the Golden Globes
    Photo: Watch for the cutey photobomb early on

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Golden Globes, Hollywood,
    (SNN) The Old Coot and the Geezer,  affected no doubt by the rainy weather in Southern California turn grumpy as they analyze the Golden Globes and show what they mean--mostly good food for the media. Will Hollywood go gaga for LA-LA? Are voters united behind Manchester by the Sea? You'll see. See how their predictions for the Academy Award nominations turned out and compare and contrast their snappy new Sky Pieces.

  • Two Ben Steins and a Battle of the Bullies
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Ben Stein, Hollywood
    (SNN) Ben Stein has been in the news lately, recently saying Hollywood is a “Bunch of bullies and thugs trying to shut down anyone who doesn’t agree with them.”   I don‘t agree with Ben Stein’s politics, but I understand his sensitivity to bullies.  Someone once told me Hollywood may have saved him from a beating or worse from actual bullies. Who would tell me that? Ben Stein. The back-story:...

  • Debbie, Donald and Gene: Meeting 'Rain's' Terrific Trio
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Debbie Reynolds, Singing in the Rain, Donald O'Connor, Gene Kelly
    (SNN) I’ve been told I had a pretty nice job back in the day—entertainment reporter on TV news. The tragic death of an iconic actress made me realize how fortunate I was to have met and/or interviewed some brilliant performers, few more so than the three stars of "Singin' in the Rain,"—Gene Kelly, Donald O'Connor, and of course, Miss Debbie Reynolds. The encounters happened at different times for different events....

  • My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
    Photo: A rare photo of Cork's mysterious doctor

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Christmas, aches and pains, doctors
    (SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come Christmas, Andrew had an announcement, which may or may not have been related to the move. He was fine with a regular large family Christmas tree, but insisted upon his own tree, too. It could be small he said, but he wanted...

  • Road-Tested and Ready
    The Very Best New Cars in the World

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., cars, new cars,
      (SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my research. Here are my ten best new and redesigned automobiles hitting the market in 2017. Driftino-Goyishe Cantaloupe: (Kuala Lumpur) $26,500, liquor license extra, battery not included. Features courtesy...

  • Arrival Has Arrived, with it the Fall Movie Season
    Photo: Another corker from our dynamic video duo

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) As most of you know there are two distinct  movie seasons. Right now we are in the Fall Quality Movie season where award hopefuls begin to flood the screen with the best that Hollywood and the World can produce.  The other ten months, it's just the usual dreck.  Our two belligerent critics (Don't worry, just toward each other), The Old Coot and the Geezer, have taken an in-depth look at the release that...

  • Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., health, knees, medicine
    (SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election.  I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery wouldn’t seem so bad.  Still not the sharpest tool on the workbench. So November 12th, glum as bad pudding, I went off to see a specialist recommended by both my personal physician and my personal wife. ...

  • Cork and the Geez Shred Snowden, Cast Trump Movie
    Photo: The Sage's intrepid critics, Dan Roth and John Corcoran Jr

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., presidential campaign, Trump, Clinton, humor, humour
      (SNN) Just when it appears our long American nightmare of a presidential campaign is coming to an end,The Old Coot and the Geezer are here to rub our faces in it.   Why? Because Hollywood loves a disaster movie and the two aging and crotchety troopers say a movie about Trump and Hillary is inevitable.   Which begs the question... Who should play the Donald and Ms.Clinton?   The answer may surprise and will certainly...

  • Revisiting "Two-a-Days" with One Small Difference
    Photo: Resistance is futile

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., babysitting, granddaughters, football
      (SNN) For four years of high school and one in college, I would spend a couple of weeks during the dog days of August involved in what was known as "Two-a-days." Those, as any current or former football player knows, are a modern form of endurance test that involves running, falling, and banging into other human beings with large amounts of force, who cheerfully return the favor. It was done, as the name infers, twice a day and for...

  • From Brothers, Who Are You? to O Brother Where Art Thou?
    Photo: Classic Clooney

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., movies,Hollywood,George Clooney
    (SNN) Among the movies due out next year is “Suburbicon,” directed by George Clooney and staring Matt Damon. The screenwriting team is pretty well known too, as they have written, directed, and produced some terrific movies themselves. When I interviewed them waaaaaay back in 1985, however, they were virtually unknown—but with hints of genius to come. As a “get” it wasn’t exactly Spielberg or...

  • Cork and the Geez Critique Movies, Parking and Procrastination
    Photo: Cork showing off his Emmy hardware

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Here's another great video from long-time industry insiders, John, "Old Coot Cork" Corcoran and Dan "The Geez" Roth! Hi Kids...   Yes that's right, it's time for another Old Coot and the Geezer, with a very short cameo featuring the young woman I'm madly in love with. (Don't bother telling my wife, she already knows)   As usual OC&G whine and preview, and Geez finally talks the Old Coot... once a...

  • Coping with the Wobblies
    By: Linda P. Schaab, health, coping, stress
    (SNN) Belonging to an elite group is only fun if it was one you aspired to, like giving a hundred speeches and becoming a Distinguished Toastmaster. During that time I would get the “wobblies” almost weekly. “What’s the worst thing that can happen?” I’d ask myself, and then think: “I humiliate myself. I can survive that.” And I did, more than once. My brother and I, having inherited a rare...

  • Top 15 Reasons Why Sully Soared
    Photo: One of Hollywoods brightest stars

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Sully, movies, Tom Hanks
    (SNN) “Sully,” the based-on-a-true-story recounting of the Miracle on the Hudson forced water landing of U.S. Airways Flight 1549, opened September 9th. It exceeded box office predictions, became one of the top five September openings ever in the United States, and marked a return to form for star Tom Hanks and director Clint Eastwood. Film Critic and former aviation writer John Corcoran offers 15 reasons why it was such a critical...

  • If Trump Wins Due to Matt Lauer Interview, It's MY Fault
    Photo: If we only had a time machine.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr. Matt Lauer, politics, Trump
    (SNN) Editor's note: We've all done stupid things when we were younger. My bad. If Donald Trump gets elected it’s all my fault.  I feel terrible about it. As this is written people are blaming Matt Lauer for his interview with Trumpster. No. It’s my fault. I accept the responsibility.  Don’t blame Matt Lauer. See, I’m responsible for Matt Lauer and thus his soft-ball interview with Trump. Yeah, the...

  • Cork and the Geez Discuss Sully, TP and More
    Photo: Correspondent Cork and crack investigator, Dan

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr., Sully, movies
    (SNN) Old Coot Cork, AKA veteran TV entertainment critic John Corcoran Jr. and "the Geez", long-time movie industry insider, Dan Roth, offer up another episode of their almost award winning video series. In this edition, they discuss the summer movie releases, upcoming films and the efficacy of various plies of toilet paper.

  • Living Dead is the Best Revenge
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I occasionally remind my wife that if I ever become utterly useless (utterly the key word here) I want her to treat me like an Inuit, or Intuitive or whatever it is Eskimos prefer these days.  This is not meant to be disrespectful of our brave and noble Frozen-Americans, by the way. After all, some of my best friends eat Eskimo Pies and my agent has a Pied a Terre in Antarctica. I frequently stop by, he throws some blubber...

  • The Day I Did Not Impress Jodie Foster
    Photo: An amazing talent despite the adversity she faced

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) When I was a movie critic on TV in Los Angeles I frequently drove directly to movie screenings after doing the early news. This meant I had time to kill and I got in the habit of bringing a book with me. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences contained one of, if not the best screening rooms in Los Angeles, as befits the organization that gives out the annual Academy Awards. One time I’d brought my customary time-killer...

  • SHUT UP! Can't You See I'm Meditating?
    Photo: I think they're all on grass

    By: John "Cork"Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I love my wife, but she’s a sneak.  I can’t prove it, but I know she forged my signature to sign me up for a group tour of a local ‘Self-Realization’ Center. I know this because I don’t take tours, I don’t like groups, and I’ve avoided Self-Realization ever since I realized the less I knew about myself, the better.    But let’s leave that particular neurosis for another...

  • My Near Miss with Rock n Roll History
    Photo: Oh Pretty Woman sheet music at Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) He owned one of the most singular and distinctive voices in the history of popular music. It led him through fame, countless personal tragedies and a place in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I had one chance to interview Roy Orbison. You might say I choked. If you’ve never heard Roy Orbison’s voice before, please do. His prime was the sixties when a string of soaring operatic pop tunes he wrote and recorded owned the airwaves....

  • Cork and the Geez Tackle Tough Issues and BFG
    Photo: It's worth it for the computer joke!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The Sage's internationally renown movie reviewers extrordinaire, award-winning TV critic, John Corcoran Jr and industry veteran, Dan Roth, talk trash, the latest Spielberg CGI-athon, and why elephants would make outstanding electronic devices.  

  • AMERICA: 240 and Showing It
    Photo: A little rough around the edges

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) It’s the anniversary of the USA’s birth this July 4th, and the country, frankly, is a hot mess. Maybe it’s an age thing. We’re old for a country and Senile Dementia appears to have settled in.  After all, we’ll be 240 this year.  As Democracies go, that’s positively elderly.  We should ask for Handicapped license plates for our Aircraft Carriers. How is it so different now? Weren’t...

  • The Fire This Time
    Photo: What some guys will do to get a scoop

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The recent brushfire in Calabasas CA, was not the first nor the worst one that the community has seen. The author well remembers an earlier one, which he helped report. When my daughter-in-law called this past Saturday and said  "You may already know this, but there’s a big brushfire near you,” my first reaction was; “Oh, wow, Déjà vu all over again.” It was a mere 23 years earlier when...

  • Cork and the Geez June Preview & Whinefest
    Photo: Charter Members of the Intellegencia

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The Sage is pleased to air the latest installment of Old Coot Cork and the Geezer's internationally famous movie reviews, social commentary and scuttlebutt from the darkest corners of Hollywood and beyond! Enjoy the meanderings of our heroes, Dan Roth and John Corcoran Jr. as they entertain, enlighten and elucidate. Especially that last one, whatever it might be.    

  • 13 Favorite Snarky Reviews of Fairly Famous Flicks
    Photo: What do you call a group of turkeys? A Film Retrospective!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Why snarky old excerpts now? Because kids today are under the misunderimpression that Snark was invented last week—a month ago, tops.  Nothing could be further from the truth, except of course, Donald Trump. I know this to be true because I was Snarking before dinosaurs roamed the earth—maybe not the entire Earth, but certainly many parts of New Jersey. So, below, instead of unbroken-in Snark, is genuine aged Snark,...

  • Cork and the Geez May Movie Madness
    Photo: Insightful cinematic commentary comes in many forms

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Old Coot Cork and the Geez, (AKA author and playwright, Dan Roth and former Hollywood film critic and television broadcaster, John Corcoran Jr.), discuss the latest movie releases in their internationally acclaimed video series.

  • Good Night, Good Prince
    Photo: The world mourns a unique talent and generous soul

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I didn't become a fan of Prince until after he died. If that sounds strange, there is an explanation. (Please stay with me here before you bash.) I don't like his music. (I love "Raspberry Beret," exception to the rule). I won't go into detail but will state this: I'm old, and the R&B and soul I was brought up with and so admired came from Ray Charles, The Drifters, endless numbers of Doo-wop groups, The Platters,...

  • 15 Truths About the Joys of Granddaughters
    Photo: Cork Has Soft Spot For Laplanders

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) These are the top 15 things I know to be true about Granddaughters in general, and specifically my one-year-and-two-month-old granddaughter, Amy Joy. Some of these observations apply to Grandsons, too. 15. She owns me 14. Grandaughters are different from Grandsons. Either can pretty much turn a room and a box of toys into a Demolition Derby, but Granddaughters make neater messes. 13. You may think before you have yours that you will...

  • Cork and the Geez Branch Out!
    Photo: The Horn of Disdain

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Great news!   The Old Coot & the Geezer have decided the world of movies isn’t enough of a challenge to their genius. They're now ready to offer their offbeat, weird, grumpy, funny, cantankerous and opinionated insights on anything. In the first episode of “Coot & Geez: The Opinion Years”, the actor-critic duo of Dan Roth and John Corcoran take on dead novelists, bad water, the Coot’s trouble...

  • Fall Down, Go Boom
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) My doctor has asked me to not fall down. I’ve attempted to honor his request, but it's easier said than done. Staying upright cannot be taken for granted if, like me, you own a fused ankle, Silly Putty knee joint, and have Peripheral Neuropathy in your tootsies. Here's what happened We recently enjoyed a visit from our two out-of-town grandsons—Hurricane Mason, age 5, and Tobey the Tornado, Age 2.  After a...

  • The Naked Truth About the Red Carpet
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Like so many clichés, it is actually true that for every happy, aint-show-bidness-grand success story, there are a few thousand unhappy endings in Hollywood. That’s because there is never a shortage of fresh-faced hopefuls wanting to parlay a socko performance in the River Drainage High School presentation of Oklahoma into a career as a movie star.   Of those who fail, the lucky ones survive the experience with their...

  • Cork n Geez's Super Special Oscar Analysis
    Photo: Our Sage and Wise Oscar Panel

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Veteran Sage movie critics, Old Coot Cork and his trusty sidekick Dan "The Geezer" Roth provide their unique take on the 2016 Oscars,

  • Two Award Worthy Performances You Almost Never Saw
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Directing a movie is a little like playing Bridge. In Bridge you must be able bid a hand properly, and then play it brilliantly.  In directing a movie, you better cast the right people in the right roles, and then, of course, play your hand. In two notable instances, both involving the director Woody Allen, part one of that directing equation almost did not happen. To add to the matter, it concerned two of his very best movies—Crimes...

  • Magical Music Makes Rom-Coms Great
    Photo: Truly one of the best

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Valentine’s Day should again remind movie fans that love and comedy have long gone hand in hand and the well-made Rom/Com is a rare and lasting cinematic treat. One reason for this type of film’s staying power is the impact of music in these movies. The movie may end but the melody lingers on. While relegated to the “also nominated” category in most Academy Award listings, a great song or the combination of...

  • Cork and the Geez; Star Wars vs Vanity
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The Old Coot & The Geezer, disappointed they did not get a Nobel Nomination, have gone back to lab and come up with yet another innovation for the show. This week, for the first time in the History of Criticism, a reviewing team uses the legendary "Doppler Selfie-Cam 7000 HD with Doppler."  This joins last week's innovation, "The Horn of Distain," in  making OC&G the most technologically complex program ever....

  • Character Actors: Not Just In It to Win It
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The death this week of actor Abe Vigoda at 94 reminds us that there are degrees of success of Hollywood, that fame can come after thirty years of toiling in obscurity, and that a great actor is a great actor no mater his billing or paycheck. As a person who covered actors and acting for much of his career, one of my favorite types of human beings in the profession has always been the “veteran character actor"* (VCA), such as...

  • Before You Hunker Down, SHOP!
    Photo: Number 15. Seriously.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) During recent televised Blizzard Preparation Coverage, there has been no shortage of stories about people laying in supplies to survive the "wintry onslaught of White Stuff". And to be honest, there hasn't been such a White Stuff assault since the Oscar(r) Nominations .   Unfortunately, almost all TV coverage has focused on empty shelves and emptier shoppers, with little practical help for the viewing audience.  ...

  • In Case You Missed It, Dallas Taylor Died
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN)  A key member of each of two of the most influential and successful groups of the folk-rock era died this week.  Glenn Frey, the founder and co-leader of the Eagles and a familiar name to fans of the era was one. This story is about the other guy. Dallas Taylor, in the cruel world of rock and roll celebrity is kind of a musical footnote, overlooked and under-appreciated. If he’d been a member of a law firm, instead,...

  • Cork and the Geez Take On Oscar
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Our own acclaimed--or is it unclaimed?-- crack movie experts Dan Roth and John Corcoran--AKA "The Old Coot and The Geezer"-- analyze the 2016 Academy Award nominations the very day they are announced!! (Jan 14). Moving with surprising speed, the boys get their views (and usual babble) on tape and off to us right away. Usually Molasses complains they are moving too slow, but not this time. The picks, the snubs, a few predictions,...

  • El Nino Hammers Hollywood (Film at 11!)
    Photo: Flood victims sue whoever prayed for rain

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Here is El Cork’s latest up-to-date, live-on-the-scene, and/or sitting-in-his-jammies-in-front-of-the-TV, El Niño Update. (For those of you scoring at home, "El Niño" means “The Niño”--and I ask you, who wouldn't rather be scoring at home?) The first blast of El Niño recently clobbered drought-stricken Southern California with up to several inches of The Wet Stuff. Such a massive...

  • Old Coot Cork's New Year Note to his Peeps
    Photo: Cork Interviewing Steve Martin and Dan Ackroyd

    By: John Corcoran
    Happy New Year all.  Specifically to my great family and friends.  Also, while I'm at it, my frequent lunch companion, Steven Spielberg, and the wonderful tales he's told me. Happy and healthy new year to Babs and the Cloonman, to Biebmeister and my always classy dear personal friend, Madonna. (Time to retire the conical bra, Sweety.) Harrison--not to rub it in, but I told you that fuel mix was a tricky little devil on...

  • Cork and the Geezer's Top 10 Movies of 2015
    Photo: Just to clear things up...

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Sit back and enjoy Old Coot Cork and the Geezer discuss their picks for the top ten flicks of 2015. The interview piece with Harrison Ford and others is an amazing moment in cinematic history featuring our own Old Coot Cork. Enjoy!     John "Cork" Corcoran  The Nineteenth Funniest Non-working Humorist in America, So voted by the 6000 membership Comedywire.Com Website    

  • Did I Just Call Dick Van Dyke "Horrible"?
    Two glimpses of a much-loved entertainer from a show biz vet

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Dick Van Dyke has just celebrated his 90th birthday.  I have two personal Dick Van Dyke stories, both as true as I can remember them. I was attending a play I was to review many years ago. The theater had a partly enclosed courtyard nearby and that is where the patrons gathered at intermission to stretch legs and refresh. Being a Hollywood premiere, there were a number of celebrities in attendance, including Van Dyke. I was going...

  • Cork and the Geezer's Movie Wishes and More
    Photo: The Sage's Crack Movie Critics (We don't mean they're on crack.)

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) As the end of the year approaches, The Old Coot & The Geezer wistfully contemplate the film they' like to make given the money...and the energy...and some more money...and the rights to do the movie.   As if that weren't enough, they tell you THE movie you should go out and see, if there can be only one.   As usual they are incorrigible, unflappable, and not too tightly wrapped.    

  • Pioneer Who Took Flying from Pleasant to Unbearable Dies
    Photo: Smallwood's First "Wing Seating" Experiment

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Commercial Aviation Pioneer Tilden Z. Smallwood, a man whose name you may not know, but whose impact you feel every time you fly in a commercial airliner, has died. He was 83.  Over his 50-year career, Smallwood was responsible for changes to passenger cabins, food service, and travel policies of many major airlines. He worked for more than 22 airlines, joking, “my halitosis and generally poor grooming habits led to frequent...

  • You'll Love/Hate Cork's Favorite Christmas Tunes
    Photo: The ho ho ho bro working out

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) As I write this, it is 88 degrees here in Southern California and not yet Thanksgiving, which means the malls and radio stations are already filled with the sounds of the Holiday season.  The roar of freeway traffic is joined by the gentle bellows of those concerned about what Christmas Season greeting should be on their  $4.50 cups of coffee. You know what that means? It means it is  time for Cork’s Top 15...

  • Cork and the Geezer Explain Why Movies Bomb
    Photo: Geeky shirt... Check!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Get ready, movie fans, for the latest installment of Old Coot Cork and the Geezer's take on Hollywood's most sought-after commodity; starlets! I mean, movies! This edition is all about flops and what the heck happened, anyway?      

  • Shocking Late Nite Rumor Thingy
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I’ve decided to start a show business rumor. Just me. All by myself, no sources, no late night phone calls from the participants. No leaked information from insiders. If it happens to come true, remember, you read it here first.   Seth Meyers will be the next host of The Daily Show. All around North America I can hear people saying: “Prove it, fathead.” Or "WTF?" Or “Wait, didn’t Late Night host Meyers...

  • Fall Fell For Old Coot Cork and the Geezer; Their Autumnal Movie Guide
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Critical movie buffs, Dan Roth and John Corcoran get serious about films for this season. This episode includes an impressive costume change and acting tips for Hollywood talents Johnny Depp, Amy Schumer and Matt Damon. OC&G Costume Classic Oct 15 from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.

  • The Dog Who Tried to Kill Me
    Photo: The scene of many attempts on Cork's life

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) We used to have a dog that was cute, sweet, even spirited and a happy addition to the family, except for the fact she was usually trying to kill me. This is an account of the time she almost succeeded.  I was on crutches for three months following ankle surgery, and—credit where it's due—the dog seized that opportunity. I took notes and now I invite you to pay close attention to this cautionary tale. The dog is...

  • Top 15 Other Presidential Hopefuls
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) You’ve never heard of them. They’re not at the nationally televised debates. They come from all over the country and all walks in life, knowing that in America, anyone can be President, but not that “Anyone” isn’t going to be them.  Or is it? How long ago was Donald Trump just another also ran?  T. Worthington Blithers.  If elected, says he will deport all American citizens and legal immigrants,...

  • The Best Pope Joke Ever
    Photo: Uncle Eddie and Aunt Mary ready for some schmoozing

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    ... “He said: ‘Who’s that in the carriage with Goldberg?’ “Now that’s prestige.” You should have heard Murray tell it.   Photo: Mary and Eddie at Copa. Courtesy of the author. © John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.

  • Old Coot Cork and the Geezer's Fall Preview
    Photo: Latest movie releases get the trademark treatment

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
  • Saving the Sage Grouse
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) As some of you may know, The Sage has a crack coterie of freelance humorists, satirists, parodists, one or two Methodists and a hard-working staff of both disgruntled and semi-gruntled employees.  Working individually, in small claques, or as part of elite, highly-trained Grupenshticklascrivenmensch teams, The Sage provides the high class comedy you see before you. This free comedy is distributed on a need to know basis to Canadians,...

  • Old Coot Cork and the Geezer's Latest Movie Chat
    Photo: Back in the Cinema Critique Saddle Again

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
  • Can Obi-Wan Colbert Save Us from Trump?
    Photo: The Old Hope

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) It is a truism of nature that when you remove a natural predator, its prey flourishes. I would like to use this theory to explain something otherwise inexplicable—the Rise and Refusal to Fall of Donald Trump. There is no shortage of theories regarding Trump.  He is the most entertaining Presidential candidate in ages—in a trainwrecky, surrealistic, oh-what-the-hell-we’re-all-gonna-die-anyway kinda way. But why...

  • Weirdness and Violence No Stranger to Newsrooms
    Photo: A look behind the gleaming sets

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The death of the two journalists during a live shot recently resonated especially with anyone who ever worked in TV News himself.  As a critic on television, my biggest danger was getting the stink-eye from an actor I’d reviewed unfavorably or the heartbreak of “Kernel Gums” from all the popcorn I ingested. My first job in television was located in a former bowling alley in Washington, DC, with several stories...

  • Cork's Top 15 Rules for the Next GOP Debate
    Photo: These are actual photos from the debate

    (SNN) As a joke I volunteered to Emcee the next GOP Political Debate. Some joke. They picked me. Then I said I would do it only if I could set up the rules, and be the sole interrogator.  Amazingly, the committee went along with it.  So here they are: Cork’s Top 15 Rules for the next GOP Debate 15. Upon entering the hall, all politicians will be frisked for dangerous weapons, and yes Donald that includes your Ginger Muskrat....

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN)  This a true story. Only the name has been changed to protect the innocent. I was at the kitchen sink last night when I looked into an empty cereal bowl and saw, to my surprise, my houseguest for the last two weeks. This period has coincided with my at-home-alone-be-lazy recovery period from a medical incident.  I hadn't intended on getting a pet for that short period, but one invited himself in the door and had been...

  • The Cork Report: Cork Test Drives ComedyWire
    Photo: The Bastion of Comedic Jocularity and Funny Stuff

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I try to avoid watching 24/7 news networks or the locals as much as possible for health reasons. My doctor said my blood pressure rises high enough to catapult a jet off an aircraft carrier during Wolf Blitzer and “Fox & Friends.” Also my torn rotator cuff came from tossing large objects at my TV. I’m a news junkie, so where to now? The best go-to place is gone--“The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.”...

  • Top 15 Rejected Nicknames for New Planes
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) In WWII the Germans put wailing sirens on their Stuka dive bombers. Leave it to the Nazis to try to terrify people already terrified by the fact they are being bombed.  But even the bad guys can make a sound point in the craft of war. Part of the battle is scaring the crap out of the other guy.  As an example, military airplanes traditionally have scary nicknames, and for a long time the US has led the way. In World War II...

  • White House Reports 120,000 New Dead-End Jobs This Month
    Photo: They deserve a break today

    By: Joe Messina
    (SNN) Washington, D.C. – The Bureau of Labor Statistics has released its monthly employment report, and the White House is proud to announce 120,000 new jobs that will keep employees in perpetual wage slavery. “Just one month ago, 120,000 Americans were trapped in crushing poverty,” White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest told reporters this week. “Now each one of those citizens is able to work to sustain that crushing...

  • Summer Movie Summary; Movie Chat with OCC&theG
    Photo: How can you not trust these faces?

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) In this Video our happy duo look at the summer flix released by mid-July and speculate what movies should or should NOT be remade.

  • 15 Things I Know to Be True about Self-Discipline
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    I don't have much. It is much easier to think up slogans about self-discipline than to be working on what you should be working on. Styles of Self-Discipline vary. An athlete eating waffles instead of working out lacks self-discipline. A writer eating waffles and watching infomercials is doing research and legally required to take frequent naps. Masochists are better at Self-discipline than Sadists. Sadists are better trainers, coaches,...

  • UFO's: Ex-CIA Unit Debunks Existence
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) A recent survey has shown that five out of four Americans have seen, touched, had non-Obamacare Approved Physicals aboard, or arrived on Earth in what is commonly referred to as a UFO,  or as it’s sometimes called a  “No, Officer I haven’t been drinking” aerial object. Surprisingly, this includes only half of the declared GOP candidates. However a new organization claims almost all unidentified objects...

  • My Awesome Super-Secret Can't Miss, No Lose Extra Perfect Horse Betting and Handicap Strategy
    Photo: How can you not trust this face?

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    ... Pharoah. Who wouldn’t want to bet on Victor Espinoza? (See photo.) I gritted my teeth, stayed with my plan, the pony finished fourth, and I knew this day would not be a disappointment for me.  Welcome to: Cork’s Awesome Super-Secret Can’t Miss, No Lose, Extra Perfect Horse Betting and Handicap Strategy. * A local group I belong to bussed out to fabled local racing emporium, Santa Anita, in Arcadia, CA.  The...

  • Who's the Best New Late Night Comedy Host?
    Photo: I'd like to meet his tailor.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I usually DVR the late night guys and then watch their monologues and first desk piece the next morning. Depending on guests, I may catch an interview or two. So picking a new favorite late night TV host is based on anecdotal evidence. But all things being equal, to my mind one host is starting to pull away in this post-Apocalyptic Lettermen-less universe.  Unlike most Media and the green eyeshade boys in accounting, I don’t...

  • good, Good, GOOD Vibrations from New Beach Boys Movie
    Photo: Brian Wilson is going to be okay

    (SNN) The outdoor 4th of July Concert was in full swing in the Nation‘s Capital. Some 500,000 witnesses were on hand to hear some good old-fashioned rock and roll on the Mall. It was 1980. My cameraman and I had just been escorted up on the main stage not five feet away from one of the five certified American pop musical geniuses of the 20th century.  But with the crowd in full throat, I could not tell if the Genius...

  • Old Coot and the Geezer's June Movie Preview, Part 2
    WARNING: These guys are a bit off-kilter

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    The boys are back with Part 2 of their June Movie Preview. ICYMI, you can view Part 1 here.  The Sage is happy to announce that Coot and Geez are no longer relegated to the slush pile. So don't change that channel! There's more to come from these two icons. OC&G June Preview 6-11-15 from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.  

  • True Truth: Six Conspiratorial Conspiracies Debunkified
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) There is a tremendous backlog of working conspiracies in the world today. And I'm not even counting why water is fluoridated, why Adam Sandler is still making movies, or who secretly controls that thing on Donald Trump’s head. To ease the burden, I have debunkified the six biggest conspiracies facing us today. This enables new, even more ominous Conspiracies to move from under your bed to out in the spotlight.  Sleep...

  • Old Coot and the Geezer's June Movie Preview, Part 1
    Warning: The popcorn isn't for sissies

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    The boys try new popcorn, discuss controversy onscreen, and take a peek at the Big Guys running loose in Jurassic World.    JUNE PREVIEW Old Coot & Geezer from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.

  • Top Ten List of Celebrities I've Met Who Are Dead (Pt. 2)
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    ... dog.” We got along great for the rest of the interview and when I mentioned my upcoming nuptials, he asked to be invited. He didn’t show up, but he sent a nice gift—not a gravy boat. 5. (Three way Tie) John Belushi/John Candy/Chris Farley. Big men with huge talent taken much too young.  I met John Belushi for the “Animal House” junket in New York City. Most junket interviews are done in hotel rooms. This,...

  • Real Gone Cats; Great Band Disbands
    Photo: Paul Shaffer at the Emmys

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Lost in the wave of  sentiment and sense of loss caused by David Letterman’s final goodbye is another great subtraction from the cultural scene—The CBS Orchestra, formerly the World’s Most Dangerous Band (WMDB). In case you missed it, Shaffer said he would disband this great band as of the end of the Late Show. I think many figured, as I did,  he might take them on at least one lucrative national...

  • Last Late Show is Great Runs Late
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Let me start with the biggest downer about the last David Letterman Late Show. Someone should have warned us the show would run long. Many fans are left with DVRs that stopped with 18 unrecorded minutes of the hour and eighteen minute-long last "Late Show."  This now becomes the second most famous 18-minute gap in American history. On to the good stuff. Classy exit, funny to the last. Just the right tone. Great highlight reel...

  • 15 Things You'll See in Every Summer Movie
    Photo: Caution: Car 'Splosions Ahead

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    Cork's Fabulous 15 15. ‘splosions 14. More ‘splosions 13. Even more ‘splosions 12. CGI ‘splosions 11. Real ‘splosions 10. Big-ass ‘splosions 9.   Bigger-ass ‘splosions 8.   Super Heroes 7.   Superdooper Heroes 6.   Superdooperpooper Heroes 5.   Villains 4.   Super Villains 3.   Super Villains causin’ ‘splosions 2.   Super Villains...

  • 15 Things I Know I'll Miss About Letterman
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    15: His bad joke “take.” Carson is justifiably praised as probably the best ever to save crash-and-burn material.  If a monologue joke died, Johnny would react like he’d been hit by a body blow, physically wounded by his material. He’d then riff off of it.     Letterman is more subtle; he stares into the camera and communicates to you that he knows he’s just wasted your time, the...

  • Nickname Guide for Newborn Princesses
    Photo: How about "Bob"?

    By: Norman Birnbach
    (SNN) Now that we know the name of Britain's newest princess, there remains an important question – and it’s not, “How does one (or one’s staff) baby proof a castle?” It’s “How will the media refer to her?” Some have suggested variations on each of her names, Charlotte Elizabeth Diana of Cambridge, such as Lottie, Liz, Beth, Di or Cami – but those nicknames are as common as her maternal...

  • Top 10 Celebs I've Interviewed Now Currently Dead (Pt.1)
    Photo: Cork's old stomping grounds

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) During my career as an entertainment reporter in television I met oodles of stars, usually because I was assigned to interview them. The TV interviews I did were mostly five minutes or less in length, and not ideal for getting to know someone in depth.  A few stars I talked to multiple times, or for longer periods of time. A number of them, since passed on, endeared themselves to to me, as they no doubt endeared themselves to...

  • Old Coot Cork and the Geezer: Reviewaholics
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    With a new set and a questionable bag of cheese puffs, the boys bring us Part II of their Spring and Summer movie review. Hear what our seasoned gents have to say about some brand spankin' new flicks and a couple of surprising remakes.   Coot 'n' Geezer Preview from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.  

  • The Night Has Come for Ben E. King
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    He had a midnight voice. You would hear the swirling strings, the comforting thump of a standup base, the piano riff so simple yet so complex, and then that voice would take you through a journey of the pain of love, but reassure you that your strength would see you through. The voice reminded us that he, too, had been through loss before and lived to tell.  The words and music were written mostly by the legendary songwriting...

  • 15 Things I Know are True about Funny
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    Everybody thinks they have a great sense of humor, (or humour) especially those who do not. I happen to think I have a very good sense of humor. How good?  So good I can sit at comedy clubs not laughing, just uttering “That’s funny” after good jokes and “that’s not funny” after bad ones. You will probably disagree with one or more items here. Too bad. Get your own damn listicle. This is my listicle....

  • Exclusive! Leaked Docs Show ETs Contacted All US Pres Since 1962
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
      (SNN) A recent leak of top-secret White House documents reveals American Presidents have been in communication with Extraterrestrials from more than one galaxy beginning with the Kennedy Administration. Only short excerpts of a few conversations are available, with more, possibly, to come. In another shocking development, the transcripts indicate one former President may have been of extraterrestrial origin himself.   Partial...

  • 15 Guaranteed Changes for Rolling Stones Tour
    Photo: You've Been Warned

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) As many of you know, the World’s Greatest and Most Elderly Rock & Roll Band, The Rolling Stones, are about to launch their North American “I’ve Got Headbands Older Than You” Tour May 24th. Are they too old to rock and roll? Rumors are flying and lead singer Mick Jagger already has denied reports the “hot young chick” he’s now dating is Queen Elizabeth. Guitarist Keith Richards did...

  • Old Coot Cork and the Geezer's Spring Preview #1
    Photo: The Gruesome Twosome

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The Dynamic Duo of Old Coot Cork and the Geezer are back with another incredible installment of movie talk with news, previews, woohoos and boos that is sure to delight film fanciers everywhere. So pop some corn, grab a beverage and enjoy!   OC&G Spring Preview #1 from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.

  • Sea Shanties: The Bane of My Medical Modeling Career
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I went to see my Dermatologist recently. Nice guy. Fingers of velvet. Excellent bedside manner, even if it’s a Murphy Bed with Murphy still in it. My skin is important to me, and not just because it keeps stuff from falling out of my body. For more than a decade I earned a handsome living as a professional skin model at *Bob’s Medical School.  It was a great gig. Dr. Robert Feedon-Snuckle, Chair of the Epidermis, Appendicitis...

  • 15 Things I Found While Looking for My Car Keys
    Photo: Why would he ask questions?

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    1. A note from Amelia Earhart reminding me to pick her up. 2. A Velcro closure wallet belonging to Warren Buffet. Age 7 3. One of Donald Trump’s old hairpieces. 4. My younger brother, Shep, missing since 1954. 5. A letter from P. McCartney, asking me to join his new band as a Theramin player. 6. A set of car keys to my Nash Rambler, lost twenty-five years earlier. 7. Option to buy 500 shares of Apple IPO. 8. Pocket Lint. Lots and lots...

  • Old Coot Cork and the Geezer's Latest Harrumph
    Photo: No prettier than the video

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
      (SNN) Here is another chapter in the profound musings of Old Coot Cork and his insightful repartee partner, The Geezer. Enjoy!   OC&G 3-14-15 from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.

  • An Open Letter to Liberal Senator Bernie Sanders
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I am sick and tired of hysterics like Bernie Sanders taking the beliefs of those fortunate enough to be part of the one percent richest in America and distorting them to fit his own, twisted philosophy. Take recent comments where Sanders, without provocation, denigrated the lifestyle of retired CEOs currently forced to survive on an average $88,576 per month retirement. Apparently, the sight of the well-heeled enjoying themselves at...

  • If Only Harrison Ford Had Taken My Advice
    Photo: We hope fortune smiles on him again soon.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
      (SNN)  If Harrison Ford had only listened to me in the early nineties, he would not have pranged in that beautiful PT-22 “Recruit” trainer on a Santa Monica golf course yesterday. Danger for him would be breaking a nail slapping out a bass solo on “C-Jam Blues,” or throwing out his back schlepping his ax around to gigs. It would not be falling from the sky in a lead sled with a dead engine. If he’d...

  • The Old Coot & The Geezer: Movies and Whine
    Photo: A Pair of Aces

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    The Old Coot & The Geezer: Movies and Whine - March 2015 from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.

  • FINAL Oscar Analysis (Thanks Cousin Morty)
    Photo: The Writing's On the Wall

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) This is Special Oscar® Awards Analysis by Morty the Mendacious, Old Coot Cork's third cousin, twice removed (once forcibly).  Old Coot Cork: So, Morty, what do you think will be the lasting impact of this year's Academy Awards?   Cousin Morty: Who gives a rat's ass?   OCC: Humor me. What special moment or moments on the show caught your attention?  CM: When that weird...

  • The Big "O"; A Little Song, A Little Dance,
    (A little seltzer down your pants)

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) God knows there are enough critics working today that there is no need for a retired, washed-up, TV has-been to hit the web and spew post-Oscar opinions.  So I told Gene Shalit to stay off the web until March. But we kid Gene, who recently had to put his mustache in a nursing home.  With that out of the way, here's a few brief thoughts from one has-been.  * I thought Neil Patrick Harris was a little like a fighter...

  • Old Coot & The Geezer Academy Awards - Part Two [VIDEO]
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - With the Academy Awards coming up February 22nd, "The Old Coot" (John Corcoran) & "The Geezer" (Dan Roth), joined by special Guest Star "The Old Salt" (Stanley Dyrector) present Part II of their very very special Academy Award predictions. They are old hands, old heads, feisty forgetful and opinionated something Hollywood could use. Sit back and enjoy The Old Coot and the Geezer, and watch them pick apart Hollywood and some...

  • Top 16 Slogans Kim Jong-un Wrote. Or Didn't
    Photo: Boy, that's effective advertising.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - We know now where North Korea’s Grand Poobah, Kim Jong Un, was lurking for the six weeks he went missing last year. The Pyongyang Doughboy was holed up in his Glorious Leader Writer’s Retreat, penning North Korea's new hot memes. Or as The Independent of London put it, more than three hundred “hyperbolic, vegetable-themed new slogans aimed at citizens of the hermit kingdom.” Half of the...

  • Fox Shock: Is News Channel History?
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Generalissimo Rupert Murdoch, Grand-Poobah-in-Charge of Fox Network’s News Corp, announced a major change in policy following NBC’s decision to remove blatant lying pretty-boy Brian Williams from its anchor chair.   In order to continue “this tendency toward total truth in television,” the Fox topper said alliteratively, he will change the name of Fox News Channel to Fox “News” Channel....

  • Republicans Vow to Stop ObamaCollege from Becoming Law
    By: Ed Toolis
    (SNN) - “Taxing the rich, to give the middle class and the poor a free community college education, is out and out class warfare on the 1%,” John Boehner said at the press conference. “If people want to get better jobs, trickle-down economics is the only way to do it.”

  • Old Coot & The Geezer Academy Awards - Part One [VIDEO]
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - With the Academy Awards just around the corner, our dynamic duo required a bit of help to prognasticate what is usually predictable. As if our Dynamic Duo weren't confusing enough, they have added a guest for their "First Annual Academy Awards Prediction Show, Pt. 1."The Old Coot and The Geezer are joined by veteran character actor and author The Old Salt. The three of them natter on as usual, but also predict who they believe...

  • Shocking! Source Says: Dems to Bow Out in 2016
    Photo: It's all about the "Road Tail"

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) A hitherto unreliable but close-enough-for-satire source has confirmed that the Democratic Party will not run a candidate in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election. This is an unprecedented development, if you don‘t count George McGovern in 1972, and frankly who does? My source at the Democratic National Committee—lets call him “Deep Skypiece” because the cool nicknames have been taken—said the decision does...

  • Top 15 Things I Know Are True
    Photo: Cork's a Regular Einstein

    By: John "Cork" Cororan Jr.
    (SNN) - About this time of year many people are toting up the new year’s resolutions they’ve already broken. I have known for a long time that listing resolutions is a waste of time. Here are fifteen other things I know to be true. Idiot-proof devices aren’t. Schrodingers’ Cat isn’t dead, it’s alive and well and choosing to ignore you. The best scent in the world is a new car smell, except of course...

  • Here Are the Latest Headlines The Sage's are Working On.
    By Ed Toolis
    Michele Bachmann Voted Top Republican Stand-Up Comic for 2014 (SNN) - Comedy Central assembled the speeches of various right-wing politicians, turned them into stand-up routines and over a million online viewers got to vote for the funniest ones. Some of her best lines (actual quotes): On taking on liberals: “That’s the best way to defeat them, by the way. . . .I destroyed liberal arguments with my superior logic. . . . They...

  • Cork's 1st Annual Movie Awards: The Snubbies
    Photo: Movieholics can relate to this one

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - After the Academy Award announcements comes a game called “Who got snubbed?” It’s a fun game, everyone can play, but there are no hard and fast rules and no real honors handed out to the “winners,” who win  a snubby by not being nominated for an Academy Award.       The biggest "Snub" for me this year was that the snubs—while controversial--came with a logical...

  • Golden Globe Awards: Covered by The Old Coot and the Geezer [VIDEO]
    The winners, the losers, and the North Koreans

    By: John "Cork" Cororan Jr.
    (SNN) - The 72nd Annual Golden Globe Awards were held Saturday and as they say, whoever they are, "It's not over until the fatwa sings" or something like that. Here is a special episode of the "Old Coot and the Geezer", the boys chime in on the awards and touch on other stuff, even the North Koreans. OC&G Golden Globes 1-12-15 from John Corcoran Jr. on Vimeo.   The following are the winners of the 72nd Annual Golden Globes Awards:...

  • Miley Cyrus, a Dead Dog and a Moil Walk into a Bar
    Photo: Cork Waiting For the Afternoon Matinee

    By: John "Cork" Cororan Jr.
    (SNN) - The enormous number of year-end releases have caused so much confusion I keep seeing the wrong movie. As a service to you, our valued readers, here are the worst offenders and how to avoid my fate. Into the Woods: It’s not about golf or wayward tee shots. Honest mistake. I’ve been into the woods so often I’m Facebook Friends with a tribe of Elves. I once hooked a drive so badly it hit Bambi’s Mom. (She hadn’t...

  • Grampy vs Four-Year-Old and a Spider
    Photo: New Nickname for Grampy

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Holidays are upon us. Time to remember that children are clever—especially when a malleable grandparent is involved. I know this to be true. Call me “Malleable Grampy.” We were fortunate to have our two Grandkids—Mason, age four, and nine-month-old Tobey—plus their sleep-deprived parents stay with us over the Thanksgiving Weekend.  This early AM adventure was part of that visit. TIMELINE: Thanksgiving...

  • The Un and Only Guaranteed Lock for 2014 Movie Honors

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Using the same standards that Time Magazine applies for its “Person of the Year” selection—notoriety counts—I nominate Kim Jong Un as Film Critic of the Year. It’s a No-Brainer in every sense of the term. It’s a lock. My last Film Critic of the Year lock was David Manning, the fake critic invented by ad execs at a Hollywood Studio called Sony. (Irony, anyone?) Manning is...

  • The Old Coot and the Geezer and Their Take on "Fixing Award Shows" [VIDEO]
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - After a fall break, our intrepid movie reviewers are back with a whole new season. With a spanky new High Def veneer and sparkly smiles, the Old Coot and The Geezer opine on all things Hollywood, and critique the plethora of new movies coming at us for the Holiday Season. Sit back while the boys inject some down home humour and leave you scratching your heads.   The Old Coot and The Geezer, go on  Fixing Awards Shows

  • All I Want for Christmas is No More Stuff
    Photo: Even homeless people end up with too much stuff

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    I don’t want any Stuff for Christmas. Three reasons: I have enough stuff already. Beneath my gruff exterior of cynicism, sarcasm and asshattery are more layers of cynicism, sarcasm and asshattery. But beneath those layers beats the heart of a sentimental softie. I owe a favor to someone who returned a beloved pet when I was a kid. (Details below) So, please don’t send me any Stuff for Christmas. Or Chanukah...

  • All I Want for Christmas; an Apology
    Photo: Here you go!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - There have been a flurry of apologies lately, mixed in with “Black Friday,” “Cyber-Monday,” and “For Heavens Sake, Please Buy Something Weekend” holiday sales. I feel an update is in order. If you don’t agree—please accept my apology. Santa Claus has apologized for leaving coal in the stockings of bad little girls and boys in China after learning last year's lumps were used...

  • 15 Absolute Truths About Thanksgiving Dinner
    Photo: Remember, you don't have to invite the whole tribe.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) The Famous Fifteen Someone always brings pearl onions. To limit number of dirty dishes, pour them directly down the drain. No one knows what the word “Giblets” means. In Swahili, however, a word very close to it translates as “Great horrible part of bird not to be eaten even on a dare.” There is no such thing as Tryptophan. You’re fat and stuffed and drunk. Of course you’re gonna doze off. Always...

  • Russian Lawmakers Propose New Anti-Gay Legislation
    Nationalism on the Rise in Russia

    By: Artur Filik
    (SNN) - Nationalism is on the rise in Russia as it has never been before and with it, strong anti-gay sentiments always follow. Just a few weeks ago, a giant statue of an iPhone had been taken down in St. Petersburg. Many people may be surprised that a giant iPhone statue even existed in Russia, but probably no one was surprised when it had been taken down because of Tim Cook’s announcement that he is gay. This encouraged Russian lawmakers...

  • Politician Wants to Ban Your Sex Fantasies
    Photo: Just one of Glacklamore's agents

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - It’s illegal in most places to text or hold your cell phone to your ear while driving, and if an America politician has his way, soon you will no longer be allowed to fantasize while at the wheel. Congressman Tuskman Glacklamore (R-N.H.), Chairman of the Fundamentalist Liptonite wing of the Tea Party, is standing hard and firm behind a law that would forbid all sexual fantasies while driving a motor vehicle....

  • Kim Kardashian's Booty has been nominated
    ... by the prestigious National Caboose Association for year-end

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    Bulletin: Big Bootilicious Breaking Butt Update (SNN) - With a clean air accord agreed to by China and the US, with Russia rattling its sabers in the Ukraine, and with record-setting cold air blasting into the eastern half of the US, the biggest story this week is Kim Kardashian’s Ass. Kardashian’s Big Booty burst into the news when she released a series of mostly nude photos taken for the winter edition of the publication “Paper.”...

  • 15 Things I Know to be True about US Presidents
    Photo: Remember: Lynden Was LBJ, Clinton was El BJ.

    Abraham Lincoln never would have gone to Ford’s Theater if he hadn’t mistakenly believed “Our American Cousin” was being performed in the nude. Calvin Coolidge was so dull his nickname was Calvin Coolidge. Jack Kennedy signaled to have Marilyn Monroe brought to his White House bedroom with the coded message: “Send Soupy Sales to the Bronx and tell him to bring his pie collection.” Most of the time John...

  • 15 Things I Know to Be True About Music
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Some will have to ask their parents or grandparents who the hell some of these people are here.  Please remember, rock and roll is more than 60 years old. So call your folks or Mr. Google. They’ll be glad to hear from you. Aretha Franklin just released a new album.  All’s well with the world. If you are against the death penalty, Auto-Tuning should make you reconsider. Before they became more famous as singers,...

  • Drive As Fast As Hell to Chi-Town
    Photo: A Bugatti Veyron; Now THAT's how to deal with inadequacy

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) Do you own a Bugatti Veyron? Probably not. If you did you’d be driving it now, in bed with your passenger, or robbing banks to pay for it. It costs $3,000,000 a copy and will still be accelerating as the speedo flashes past 200 MPH.  My car couldn’t hit even half that if it was dropped from a plane. The Veyron has a 1000 horsepower engine and looks like sex on wheels.  It has two seats, a nuclear ashtray and a...

  • Leaked documents suggest ISIS was created by the CIA
    By Artur Filik
    (SNN) - Another shocking scandal came to light a few days ago after leaked documents showed that ISIS is actually a secret project started by the CIA. The allegations rocked the agency to the core, forcing CIA Director John O. Brennan to appear before Congress to testify on the matter. What he revealed during the hearings was astounding. After being grilled on the issue for hours, Brennan finally broke down and admitted that the CIA, with...

  • I Forget What This Story Is About, and So Do I
    Photo: They Call Him "Six Eyes".

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I don’t expect much sympathy for my Short Term Memory Loss issues but read this anyway, there’s very little whining.  Please give me your full attention, and if it’s not too much trouble, hand over your car keys and wallet, too. Short Term Memory Loss (STML) means you recall your third grade math teacher’s name but not the person you just met.  So you have to call everyone “Pal,”...

  • Sleeping Better with Norad
    By: Linda P. Schaab
    ‘Nobody told me there’d be days like these.’ – John Lennon (SNN) - In light of today’s terrorist attack on Parliament Hill, Canadians are now embracing a relatively unknown sleep aid called Norad. While it has been around for decades, four out of five doctors are saying that as a result of recent events they are recommending their patients consider Norad for a measure of relief from sleeplessness. Norad can...

  • You Can't Get Ebola from a Gopher
    Photo: Safety First!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - “An epidemic of fear and anxiety hits Americans amid Ebola outbreak” --Headline in the Washington Post We’re scared. We’re all scared. But nobody is as scared as my beloved Aunt Millicent and her husband Uncle Erply. Here’s a letter I recently sent that I hope will calm their fears and might just be some comfort to readers' relatives, too. Dear Aunt Millicent: Sorry for taking so long to...

  • CorkList: Ten Favorite Zamfir Tunes
    Whose Titles I Forgot

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - If you are a fan of the musical instrument called the Pan Flute, first of all, for God’s sake, get a life! Second, you probably remember those late night TV commercials for recordings by “Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute.” Zamfir is a Romanian Pan Flautist+ who had a big run in the 70’s and 80’s as the world’s most popular and only Pan Flute player. He is now 73, still working and set to open...

  • The Kid in the Mustard Yellow Suit
    A Story of Justice

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I was thumbing through some old notes the other day and wondered whatever became of the Kid in the Mustard Yellow Suit. I use the term “kid” advisedly; he was a high school student at the time. He’d be in his thirties now. Of all the people at that murder trial, he’s the one I’ll never forget. Here’s the back-story: Fifteen years ago I received a letter informing me I was selected for jury...

  • 15 Reasons Why ETs Have Not Landed Yet
    Photo: Just passing through?

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - A radio message, believed sent from an Earth-orbiting extraterrestrial mothership to its’ home planet', has been intercepted and translated. This is according to reliable sources; i.e, no tinfoil hats, no Fox & Friends Host, never appeared on Duck Dynasty A secret CIA spy satellite recorded the message earlier this year, and a team of experts led by Dr. Skärt Bedrägeri has finished translating the...

  • Pizza Spokesrat Shot; Police Suspect All Parents
    Photo: The rat in better days, holidaying in Japan

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN)  - Mr. Charles E. Rodent, beloved Spokesrat for a chain of restaurants that serves good pizza to badly over-adrenalized children, was shot and seriously wounded last night while dining at one of his establishments. He is listed in critical but stable condition but is expected to squeak through. Mr. Rodent was wounded, allegedly by a disgruntled parent of a customer.  According to police, the suspect escaped as children...

  • Is God a Switch Hitter?
    Photo: How it was done back in the day...

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    “All people can be divided into two groups. Those who divide people into two groups, and those who do not.” (SNN) - According to Google, either Mark Twain or James Thurber said that quote, a witty commentary on the faults of statistics and stereotyping. Events in the news lately indicate the latest brace of groupings are those who’ve been whapped on the sit-downer with a tree branch as a kid, and those who have not....

  • To Sleep; Perchance to, um...
    Photo: For whatever ails you.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I believe the Pharmaceutical Industry stays up nights thinking up new ways to make our lives better (while making a huge profit, of course.) Other nights, they stay up thinking up ways to make our lives miserable (while making a huge profit, of course.) Now I know why. The boys and girls in the white lab coats are up because they can’t sleep. USA Today, a publication that believes news should be served in small pre-digested...

  • The Day I Got Off on Siri
    Photo: If you get her, it was likely accidental

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - My lovely wife was calling on a borrowed phone to tell me she had forgotten hers. Would I be a lamb and check a number for her in her iPhone directory? I understand an iPhone about as well as Schrodinger’s Cat understands quantum physics, so I should have just pled stupidity and been done with it. “But of course,” I heard a voice remarkably like mine respond. It reeked of steely confidence, like a bomb squad...

  • The Old Coot and the Geezer pay Homage to Canadian Cinema
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - The Old Coot and the Geezer pay Homage to Canadian Cinema and probably ruin Canadian-American relations for the foreseeable future. The aging former critic and veteran character actor have forgotten more about movies than they ever knew and are wiling to discuss it for absolutely no money whatsoever, which may mean they are overpaid."The Old Coot & The Geezer Show" is a Parody of Movie Expert Shows and is meant to educate the...

  • My Vacation with Widowmaker
    Photo: A far more spectacular accident than Cork's

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Had a little car boo-boo while vacationing in Maine this Summer. I’m fine, thank you. Wandering moose and shore-bound Lobstermen are fine, too.  In fact, everyone’s just peachy. But on the list of things that can spoil a vacation, a car wreck is right up there with terrorist kidnappings and Irish B&B breakfast fare. Let’s start at the beginning, shall we? Years ago, I was born in a little village...

  • What My Old Man and 'The Man' Taught Me About Baseball
    Photo: You know you made it when...

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - The first baseball game I ever saw was at the Polo Grounds in New York City. My Dad took me more years ago than I can remember.   The Polo Grounds was then home to the New York baseball Giants. The stadium is long gone as are the baseball Giants, who soon after skedaddled west to San Francisco. Despite my young age, my father knew instinctively the correct moment for his son’s Right of Passage. “Time for you...

  • Torture: Good for What Ails You?
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - The National Torture Association, one of the United States’ most powerful and effective lobbying organizations, is launching a public relations campaign to change public perception of torture and inhumane treatment of prisoners. “For too many years, torture has had a negative connotation,” a source not authorized to speak on behalf of torture or torture related industries, told us. “That’s why we think...

  • Dad Takes Care of the Radio Problem
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
      (SNN) - Once upon a time people listened to radios. The heart of the radio itself was a forest of diode vacuum tubes, later replaced with transistors. The tubes burned out with the rapidity of light bulbs and movie ingenues. When a tube went, the radio quit. No one could determine visually which tube went bad as all were encrusted with a thick layer of schmutz. So, every time a tube blew out, you faced a dilemma:...

  • Remembering Robin: An Interviewer's Best Friend
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    John Cork Corcoran was a television entertainment reporter in Hollywood for many years. He recently returned from a visit to Tiburon. (SNN)  - TIBURON CA—When we arrived in Tiburon, Monday, August 11th , the first question my adult son asked me was “Do you have any pictures of you and Robin together?”  I thought for a few minutes and realized I probably did not. “How about me and Robin?”...

  • You to Can Right Gud Like Me Do
    Photo: Fat Writers Earn Other Income

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Recently I was asked what advice I might give to someone who wanted to become a professional writer. Since 'bash-your-head-in' wasn't an option, here is that advice.  Read. Write. Repeat. Ask yourself if a life of poverty is one that you can fully embrace.  Learn to write well about sex. People always like to read about sex.  Conflict! Gotta have it. Can't live without it.   Writers are...

  • Cork's List: The Poop on the Pills I Pop
    Photo: Live Better Pharmaceutically!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I take a bunch of pills every day. Some are prescribed by doctors. Some I find under sofa cushions. Still others are “suggested” by my wife, who is currently ranked third most qualified non-medically trained pill expert in the Known Universe.   I recently looked up the pills I take in the Physician’s Desk Reference to see what they actually do. Here are the results. The Big Green Pill. Controls gag...

  • A Secret Shocking Secret Sacred Secret Oath Exposed
    Photo: Did we mention it was a secret?

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) There were nuts in plain sight in the kitchen the other night. Salted Pecans. Roasted and still warm from the oven. Naturally, I dug in. My wife arrived and took umbrage. “Those are not for you, they are for the salad,” she said, referring to the item she was preparing to take to a barbeque we were attending that night. “They were in plain sight,” I said. “I am a member of the Media. My Media...

  • The Cork Report: Kenny G Cuts With Titles I Forgot
    Photo: Kenny's Favorite Venue

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - " If all the elevators in all the world played nothing but Kenny G music...I wouldn't be the least bit surprised." - John Corcoran Jr. Here are Cork's picks of the best Kenny G songs he can't really recall. See if you can recognize them all. 10. The one where Kenny G noodles on a soprano saxophone while synthesizers drone behind him. 9. The one where Kenny G noodles on a soprano saxophone while synthesizers drone...

  • Dental As Anything; Cork's Post-Op Tips
    Photo: Open Wide!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Cork's been to the dentist and so we all must suffer. Here's his take on proper care following having a tooth stump ripped out by the roots. HANDS OFF YOUR HOES: Patients who have had a general anesthesia or died during oral surgery should not drive an automobile or operate heavy machinery. Do not fire up a John Deere backhoe or handle your Wacker Neusen Rammer for at least 24 hours. GAUZE PACKS: Remove all gauze packs...

  • The Old Coot and the Geezer Show - The Lost Tapes
    ..... and the Monkey Movie.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - They are back and this time with a treasure trove of C&G memorabilia, plus a review of the "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes," aka, the monkey movie.  We caution you (nudity), there is a scene here dealing with a gratuitous bathing of a, ah.. er... cat.  The Old Coot and The Geezer--one is a working character actor in Hollywood, the other won seven Emmys as an on TV Entertainment Reporter. Now they're two old Curmudgeons...

  • Cork's Top 12 List: World Cup Soccer
    Photo: Soccer - A Pile of Fun

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Knowing all there is to know about knowing nothing about soccer, our man, Cork, reveals 12 important facts about the World Cup. 12. If there is a tougher officiating job in sports than Soccer Referee, I don’t know what it is.  You’re always running, nobody speaks the same language, everybody flops, you have to watch 22 people who cheat, the fans may kill you, and nobody, not even you, is exactly sure what...

  • A 4th of July Nostalgia Wallow
    There was no other sound quite like it.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - First I heard a thunderous deep bass rumble, soon joined by a high-pitched, banshee howl. The thunder shook me, and the howl had me plugging my ears. It came from the biggest thing I had ever seen in the air. I was a ten-year old kid. The first time I heard and saw what was producing that noise; it scared the hell out of me. After that, each time it reappeared I stopped, watched and listened—as kids tend to do.  My father...

  • No Pope-a-Dope, Francis Takes Cautions
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    by Giovanni Corcoroni - Special Correspondent (SNN) - ROME - A well-placed source in the Vatican has confirmed that the College of Cardinals has been ordered “to the mattresses.”* Sources say this is a precautionary measure to protect Pope Francis.  Rumors continue that the Italian Mafia, which does not exist, may retaliate for his decision to excommunicate all Mafia members, real or imaginary, from the church. ...

  • The Old Coot and the Geezer Show Talk UFOs . . .Seriously.
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - "The Old Coot & The Geezer talk about UFO movies, the best ever and some new ones, and in a shocking announcement, The Old Coot says he was once abducted by aliens who refused to give him a physical. The duo shamelessly try to get a famous company to sponsor them, and bring in a special guest reviewer from far, far away. All that plus popcorn, clips, and an unexpected visitor. As usual, they whine about never being invited to...

  • A Duffer's Guide to Great Golf (Just Kidding)
    It's summer and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I recently had to give up the game when one of my ankles was found guilty of non-support. Anyone who had witnessed me tearing up sod believed golf was ready to surrender anyway. I’ve always stunk at golf.  These days, if someone asks me if I played golf, I respond: "I used to play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar to golf...

  • A World Cup Soccer Survivalist's Guide
    A Dozen Questions and Answers to help you better understand and enjoy the World Cup.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - What is the best way to watch soccer on television? First, lay in a lot of beer. A lot of beer. Set your DVR to RECORD. Start drinking six hours before the match, just like the fans in the stands do. You will then pass out for the duration of the match. When you wake up, rewind and watch from the beginning. Focus on the scoreboard graphic as your DVR fast-forwards.  When and if you see the score change, stop and rewind to see...

  • Phone Call to a Friend
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
      (SNN) - Yesterday I made a phone call that I did not want to make. I was afraid to make, actually. Afraid I would screw it up. I tried to talk myself out of it, in fact. But as a man of some conscience, that was not an option. The call was not about me, it was about the person I was calling. And it was important to him. And I dared not postpone it. So I called him that morning and a relative answered and said he was temporarily unavailable....

  • Fat Old Guy Halfway Home in Frontal Attack on Beer Gut
    Photo: These are John's actual feet

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    Part One of my two-part Fat Old Guy Diet, which I nicknamed the “Not Gonna Be the Fattest Guy at my Son’s Wedding Diet” has ended in success.   (SNN) - It began two plus months before the wedding, after I caught a glimpse of my profile in the mirror and hit the scales to assess the damage. I weighed 245. I pledged to lose 25 pounds by wedding day come Hell or high cholesterol. Two months later, I reached my goal...

  • Justin Bieber is Trying to Kill the Earth
    Photo: Apparently, it's the Canadian singer's fault

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - CNN is ostensibly a “news” network. That is, they claim they report “facts". Sometimes they have people who have “opinions” about facts who then go on camera with people who have opposite opinions and shout at each other. These are called “discussion shows.” One of the conceits of “news” carriers is they should start first with “facts” and then let opinions flow from...

  • Happy Birthday. Now Go Away.
    Photo: The best way to eat birthday cake

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - It you are like me, first of all my sincere condolences. Second, if you are like me you no doubt get sick and tired of birthdays.  Not yours, numbskull—other people’s birthdays.  At least when it’s your own, you get cake and presents.  But even in that case, birthdays stopped being a blast when your cake candles hit double figures. Now, when cake lightings threaten...

  • A Pair of Corkers
    Photo: Documented Proof - A Sage First!

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    The Caterpillar and the Raven-Haired Model (SNN) - My Dad passed away twelve years ago this month. I thought this might be a good time to relate a couple of extraordinary, funny and true stories about him and avoid the June Father’s Day rush Both happened while he was learning to fly in WWII. He eventually survived 35 B-17 missions over Germany. You may be surprised to learn he survived flight school. The first event took place...

  • NY Cops Bust 'Most Positive Band Ever'
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Hyper-positive pro-happiness pop music duo “Happy Face Honey Bunch” was arrested in New York City yesterday and charged with Orderly Conduct and Refusal to Resist Arrest. An NYPD spokesman refused comment saying it was an ongoing investigation. Several eyewitnesses, however, say the incident occurred when the singers approached uniformed policemen and, without provocation, began complimenting them.    The officers...

  • Did Miley Cyrus Tweak Her Twerker?
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Is Miley Cyrus' recent hospitalization for an “allergic reaction” to medication real, or a cover-up for a more serious ailment?  Some medical skeptics reacted to the diagnosis with a semi-autonomous, convulsive expulsion of air from their lungs through the nose and mouth. Others say an allergic reaction to medicine is nothing to sneeze at.  (Cyrus has since been released and moved to an undisclosed...

  • A Toast To Grilled Bread
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    Above Image: Lasted Forever (Which is a Terrible Business Model) (SNN) - My parents were given a two-slice toaster as a wedding present. It was made of wrought iron and reinforced concrete and toasted bread, muffins, Parker House rolls, ladyfingers, kiddyfingers, Bigfootfingers, bread sticks, fish sticks, Pickup Stix, Pop Tarts, Popsicles, your Pop’s mittens, even an emaciated chicken when the stove went on the Fritz. It did so...

  • Stephen Colbert to replace David Letterman on The Late Show
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - CBS announced today that Steven Colbert of “The Colbert Report” will replace David Letterman as host of “Late Night.” The timing, if not the choice, is a bit of a surprise, as Letterman is not due to retire for at least a year. The announcement comes one week after Letterman’s surprise retirement announcement. Rumors have flown about potential replacements and it is possible CBS wished to scotch...

  • The Day I Met David Letterman
    Photo: Dave Was Always a Winner

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - As you may have heard, talk show host David Letterman is retiring in 2015. The author was a former entertainment reporter who covered the annual Emmy awards, where he once stopped Letterman in his tracks.  It was 1993, back when Dave would attend awards ceremonies, back when he and his show were nominated for Emmys every year. (He’s won seven, including two for his daytime show).   Dave and his fellow Late...

  • Yes, Virginia, There IS an Easter Bunny
    Photo: On a break from a busy schedule

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - With Easter season upon us, we chatted up the Easter Bunny. He explained how he and his wascally friends produce Easter Eggs, and why seasonal mascots may soon unionize. (Editor's note: The JC in the interview are the initials of writer John Corcoran and not the other Easter fellow with the same monogram. EB is, of course, the Easter Bunny.) JC: Tell us a little bit about yourself. EB:  Sure. I’m a Flop-eared...

  • More Baby Spit-Lizard Knuckles, Please
    Photo: Haute Cuisine Not So Hot?

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran
    (SNN) - I’m not big on fine dining.  My idea of a gustatory adventure is driving to the cross town Denny’s or ordering the “Ptomaine, or not Ptomaine?” special at the Shakespeare Sucks Roadhouse. So a trip to a place featuring “Authentic Southwest Cuisine” was a new and challenging experience. For starters, it begs the question, what the hell does “Authentic Southwest Cuisine”...

  • ETs Land, Hold Presser, Go Home
    Photo: Aliens Being Escorted By 'Men In Black' Yupyupyupyup Uh Huh Uh Huh

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - SWAMPSIDE JUNCTION, Northwest Territories – They’re here! Well, they were here. A silvery UFO, roughly 35 feet in diameter, hovered over then landed just outside the town limits of this sleepy village yesterday. And then it got interesting. According to Cuthbert Schnitman, a TV news presenter forced into early retirement due to continuous mispronunciation of his own name, Extraterrestrials soon emerged...

  • SAT Test Won't Beat Around the Bush
    Photo: Bush Demonstrates What a Spelling Bee Might Look Like

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - The U.S. Scholastic Aptitude Test, used to test high school students for college, is dropping the 25-minute handwritten essay portion of the exam. (It will now be voluntary, for a fee)   An SAT official said the test is time-consuming, unnecessary, “and has been costing us a small fortune in No.2 pencils.” Critics of the plan say it will now be impossible for colleges to evaluate a candidate’s...

  • Fallon Kicks Sand in Letterman's Pie Hole, Will The Big Man Retaliate?
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I’m a big David Letterman fan, but I’ve just seen a young upstart blow the doors off the late night talk show race. If Dave’s not worried, he’s either not paying attention or decided to take early retirement.  I think he’s paying attention. The fact it’s taking place at his old unrequited love’s address, The Tonight Show, has to be particularly galling. You couldn’t design...

  • Can Helmets Help Bird Brains or Do Their Peckers Doom Them?
    Photo: Woodpecker Testing New Hardhat

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I was standing in a majestic wood on a winter’s day recently, enveloped in a glorious blanket of stillness, save for the occasional moan of a hastening wind through the pines.   The first flakes of the first snow of the year were landing all about me, some resting gently on my shoulders for a short stay. Suddenly, my reverie was interrupted by the staccato clatter of a lone Woodpecker furiously working a nearby...

  • SAVING SAM: What that TV Guy Must Do to Save His Career
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    Background: (The Author, John Corcoran used to work as an entertainment reporter in LA some years back and then as now had a hard time with names, too.)  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (SNN) -  Sam, it's your old buddy Cork, from back in the day? Remember me? Channel Nine? Hope you haven't confused me with Roger Ebert again...or Katie Couric. You have to come out of the "Face Blind Closet" to earn sympathy and make...

  • Top 10 Reasons Why We May Already Be Dead
    Photo: Hmmmmmm

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - The world is divided into two types of people: Those who would like to live a long life and the Scientists of the world who want to send us to an early grave.   According to scientific findings, studies, and other research, I died of natural causes in 1983--give or take a year or twelve. (My crack staff crunched the numbers, and most of them are drunk at any given time.) Being born relatively sane, I planned for a long...

  • Cupid's Valentine Shocker: He's Loveless and in Rehab
    Photo: He's always been a snappy dresser

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - The world’s legion of lovers may be fresh out of luck this Valentine’s Day, their romantic fate left, er, in their own hands. That’s because the Cherubic Airborne Icon of All Things Carnal, Cupid himself, won’t be around to help anyone find Mr. or Ms. Right this Valentine season*—he’ll be in rehab.  How did this happen? The Mini-Archer of Eros spoke with this reporter hours before beginning...

  • Terrorism Update: Bargains! Sochi News! Airline Food!
    Photo: Just another day in paradise.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - The U.S. Department of Homeland Security Store is having an end of year clearance sale, according to a source not authorized to speak for Homeland Security because he doesn’t work there. All “Osama bin Laden” items are now 75% off including the popular "Get the Door, Omar, It’s probably Just a Jehovah’s Witness" gym shorts.   Other items available online or at airport kiosks...

  • Killing Time with Erector Head and Deliverance
    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) I take magazines with me to doctors appointments because most doctor’s waiting rooms only have dog-eared copies of “Diverticulitis Digest” and “Pustules and Cysts: The Journal of Odd Growths.”  Sometimes I don’t need to read—especially when fellow patients look like a casting call for a Coen Brothers movie.  Recently, I hit the jackpot.   To my right was an elderly woman...

  • Paying It Forward: One Man's Domestic Genius
    Photo: Duct Dynasty is Totally Tubular, Man

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I like to pass along lessons garnered from a life of laziness and domestic incompetence. That’s me, always giving giving giving. My lawyer insists I also inform you that I’m pretty much clueless about such things, and my advice is for demonstration purposes only. I never repair stuff at home more challenging than a bent paperclip or couch pillow that needs re-fluffing.  Too many accidents occur at home. I have incontrovertible...

  • New 2014 Laws Affect Salami, Moose, Sister-wives, Crack
    Photo: "I do NOT have spindly legs!"

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - This is a critical time of year for law-abiding citizens of both Canada and the United States.  That’s because 2014’s new laws took effect on New Year’s Day—January 1st in the US, the last day of harvest in Canada. I am nothing if not law abiding. I follow the letter of the law even when there’s a Tilde or an Umlaut over it.  Coincidentally, my Aunt Tilde and Uncle...

  • I Really Enjoyed Christmas with your Family - Honest
    By: John Hartnett
  • Is That a 'Scope in Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Happy to See Me?
    Photo: Screen Shot of Video of John's Operation

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - If you've survived another Holiday Season of horrific hangovers and world class gastric distress, this one's for you... Some years ago my tummy ached for a week. “Ignore it and it will go away” has always been my medical mantra, so I refused to see a doctor. Instead, I tried my usual over-the-counter remedies—Tums, Pepto-Bismol, Canadian Club. Nothing helped. “I think you should see a doctor,”...

  • How Martha Stewart Really Celebrates Christmas
    By: John Hartnett
  • The Disgruntled can be Herd
    By: John Hartnett
  • NSA: Covert Training
    By: John Hartnett
  • Sticking it to a co-worker
    By: John Hartnett
  • Surprising Facts About "Afternoon Delight"
    What Really Sparked Starland Vocal Band's Sexy Song

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - You think the oldie-but-goodie “Afternoon Delight” is about sex, don’t you? Sure you do. The singers look squeaky clean, the musical arrangement is pure innocence, but the lyrics tell another story. No doubt about it, the topic is the joy of sneaking off for a nooner, cleaned up enough for 1970’s pop radio. Hearing it may make you wonder what specific incident inspired a song about daylight sex. Yeah,...

  • Keep me off 60 Minutes.
    By: John Hartnett
  • Hanging by the power of Yogi
    By: John Hartnett
  • Rescue Pigeons help the Homeless
    By: John Hartnett
  • Amazon Drones Get Public Makeover
    By: Christee Gabour Atwood
    (SNN) - In a surprising turn from its traditional marketing initiatives, Amazon today announced a new look and alternative uses for its force of drone helicopters. The news followed the lukewarm public response to Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos’ announcements on a recent “60 Minutes” program. Bezos told the news program that his company hoped to use the miniature drones to deliver packages directly to customers’...

  • The Worst Car in the History of Earth*
    Photo: 1957 Hillman-Minx

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - It’s the Christmas Commerce season and naturally my thoughts turn to ways of convincing someone a Maserati Quattroporte is the perfect present for me. This in turn set me to thinking about the cars I’ve owned over the years. Picking my favorites was easy—a tie between my ’65 Mustang convertible and the ’68 Corvette Stingray. Here’s how the negotiations went when I bought the ‘Vette;...

  • The Coffee Mob took over the East Side . . .see
    By: John Hartnett
  • On Demand Reruns, Nothing changes, Nothing to Watch
    By: John Hartnett
  • Before Santa Arriveth, The Rug Guy Cometh
    Photo: Even Their Vehicles Suck

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - I’m knocking this out waiting for The Rug Guy to arrive. According to Mrs. C. this is Mission One in getting things spiffed up before the Holidays.    The Rug Guy is a generic term for whoever cleans our carpets. He drives a truck filled with massive sucking devices, tubs of chemicals and soaps, and depleted uranium pellets designed to get everything out of our carpets except wine, coffee,...

  • Take This Bird and Stuff It!
    Top Ten Worst Turkey Day Treats

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Let’s start with a quick Mea Culpa for the Insensitivity Factor. I know millions of starving people would be happy to have anything to eat, including what I’m complaining about here. Well, probably not the Blackened Succotash. These have all shown up at Holiday Meals I attended and survived—mostly when I was a kid. Tofurky is the exception, a recent dietary invention which has done for food what Edsel...

  • .. and on the first day, He ate a sandwich.
    .. and it was good.

    By: John Hartnett
  • The 3-4-5- Defense, is called by the coach.
    By: John Hartnett
  • Avoiding Over Exposure
    By: John Hartnett
  • Eye in the Sky, Baldwin Watch.
    By: John Hartnett
  • If I told you Once, I told You.....
    By: John Hartnett
  • As Her Horse Lives in Constant Worry.
    By: John Hartnett
  • 12 Shocking Things to Watch For When Seeing 'Gravity' Again
    Because You Will.

    By: John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
    (SNN) - Oh yeah, you’ll see Gravity again. Either at theaters soon or on DVD when it scores its huge handful of Academy Award nominations. I just saw it for the second time and was surprised at all the things I missed. Some good, some bad, some downright shocking—a word I use lightly because everyone else does, too. I re-saw Gravity on the big screen in 3-D. I loved the movie the first time around, but...

  • Dead Turkey Walking
    By: John Hartnett
  • A Boy and his Barber.
    By: John Hartnett
  • Ringo Marries Yoko
    Admits He Broke Up The Beatles

    By: R.S. Gompertz
    (SNN) - All you need is love, even if it takes 40 years.  Yoko Ono, the avant-garde artist who once performed in a giant bag has tied the knot with Ringo Starr, the amiable train conductor who replaced George Carlin on “Shining Time Station.” Before his children’s television breakthrough, Ringo played drums in “The Beatles,” a psychedelic combo that enjoyed considerable success around the UK in the...

  • The Horse Whisperer
    By: John Hartnett
  • Obamacare: A Game for the Young.
    By: John Hartnett
  • Wright Brothers inspired by an Ostrich
    By: John Hartnett
  • Never Get Between a Kid and their Ice Cream!
    By John Hartnett
  • There is no place like Home, Come Toto.
    By John Hartnett
  • Badge of Merit for a Green Thumb
    By John Hartnett
  • Scientists Successfully Clone a Dinosaur.
    By John Hartnett
  • The Official Automobile of the United States Congress
    By John Hartnett
  • Performing the Ultimate Public Service
    By: John Hartnett
  • I guess it Miller time!
    By: John Hartnett
  • US Senators Remove Toilet Paper from House of Representatives
    By R.S. Gompertz
    (SNN) - Fed up with Republican Party attempts to shut down the US Government to prevent Obamacare, a group of US Senators removed all toilet paper from the House of Representatives.    Calling themselves the Left Hand Caucus, the group of democrats rejected accusations that their actions were a mean-spirited schoolboy prank. In an official statement, the group said, “Elections matter and in 2012 the American People voted...

  • The reason the US Congress likes shutting down the Government
    By John Hartnett
  • The most remote location in the World.
    By John Hartnett
  • Biting the hand that feeds you.
    By John Hartnett
  • Remember, We will always have Prisoner 14638B
    ..... who needs Paris?

    By John Hartnett
  • Wearing White after Labour Day.
    By John Hartnett
  • Exploding Hockey Pucks Intercepted at Canadian Border
    Canuck Hockey Subversives, The Montreal-Qaedians, Suspected

    By John D. Rachel
    (SNN) - Tensions are reaching an all time high between the U.S. and Canada, as government officials in Ottawa wrestle with the latest crisis in relations between the two formerly friendly nations. Meetings at the highest levels were taking place to discuss an item which appeared a few days ago in the American press. Here is the article: "Washington DC/Aug 29, 2013 (Roto-Reuters). Terrorism has reached a whole new order of sophistication....

  • The Genesis of Tweeting.
    By John Hartnett
  • How Breaking Bad ends.
    By John Hartnett
  • Rejection by Facebook
    By John Hartnett
  • Who remembers how they pulled it off?
    By John Hartnett
  • To Hell with your Gluten Free Cooking....
    By John Hartnett
  • Fifty Shades of the Old Grey Mare
    By John Hartnett
  • If the hubcap fits, I shall peak under her bonnet.
    By John Hartnett
  • What's that Cockroach doing in my soup?
    By John Hartnett
  • Tiger Mom: It will Rot your Brain.
    By John Hartnett
  • The Battle of the Sexes.
    By John Hartnett
  • How a CIA Interrogator is born.
    .. or Comedian

    By John Hartnett
  • Late, Lame, No Excuse.
    By John Hartnett
  • The Real Reason Men Marry Other Men.
    By John Hartnett
  • Milking the Cat.
    By John Hartnett
  • McDonald's Commits to Reducing Food-Flinging Injuries
    By Suzanne Lucas
    (SNN) - McDonald's Restaurants of Canada is implementing major changes to its service on the heels of a new health and safety ruling issued by Human Resources and Skills Development Canada. The ruling, which was issued to the multi-national fast food chain on July 5, 2013, concluded that serving McDonald's customers was dangerous as there were a lack of controls to protect staff from Filet-O-Fish-flinging-related injuries. Given...

  • Snowden: Planning a Russian Holiday.
    By John Hartnett
  • NSA: Caught spying on Goofy.
    By John Harnett
  • Flaco is that you?
    By John Hartnett
  • TSA Focuses on Efficiency: 'Repack Your Own Checked Baggage'
    By Suzanne Lucas
    (SNN) - As part of a newfound focus on efficiency and customer satisfaction, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) will soon be implementing new procedures for checked bags that go into an airplane's hold. These changes, which are intended to better focus TSA resources while improving the overall customer experience, come just in time as more than 200 million passengers begin their summer travel. Most of them will be travelling...

  • The Five Insurance Salesmen You Met in Purgatory
    By John Hartnett
  • Tibetan Book of the Bread
    By John Hartnett
  • Wikibeaks reveals latest NSA Parrot.
    By John Hartnett
  • Tommy Knox receives a full Pardon
    By John Hartnett
  • Nothing worse than a snitch.
    By John Hartnett
  • It is for your own good.
    By John Hartnett
  • There must be an App for this.
    By John Hartnett
  • The Last Chicken on the Shelf.
    By John Hartnett
  • Install the new Weather App.
    By John Hartnett
  • The IRS Team Building Conference
    By John Hartnett
  • 2013 Concept Car: The Toyota Equus
    By John Hartnett
  • Last Known Photo of Baby Face Nelson
    By John Hartnett
  • In 100 meters, turn left!
    By John Hartnett
  • A penny for your thoughts...
    By John Hartnett
  • I don't always read...
    By John Hartnett
  • Secrets to a Successful Marriage
    By John Hartnett
  • Scratch my Belly!
    By John Hartnett
  • Good News?
    By John Hartnett
  • Follow me on Facebook.
    By John Hartnett
  • Hell's Angels Support Obama's Campaign on Gun Control
    By Suzanne Lucas
    (SNN) – The Hell’s Angels, one of Canada’s most powerful motorcycle gangs, have thrown their support behind Barack Obama in his efforts to implement gun control reform. “I am disappointed that the U.S. Senate did not pass Obama’s bill,” said John Firepower, leader of the Hells Angels' south chapter, who is currently sought on a Canada-wide warrant for gangsterism and drug trafficking. “Americans...

  • Margaret Thatcher - A Reluctant Obituary - April 8th, 2013
    By Steven James
    (SNN) - There is a famous sketch from the 1980’s British satirical TV show, Spitting Image. Prime Minister Thatcher is treating her Cabinet to a restaurant Meal: Waiter: “What would madam like?” Thatcher: “I’ll take the Steak – Raw” Waiter: “And the Vegetables?” Thatcher” They’ll have the same.” The reasons that this was, and is, funny to Brits really illustrate the...

  • Alberta: Green-Washing or Enforcement . . . the Irony.
    By William Munsey
    (SNN) - In the larger view of a provincial budget, $30,000 isn't a lot of money. The Government of Alberta and the companies so heavily invested in the oil sands stand to lose a whole lot more than that if Keystone XL is not built.  So the government’s latest effort to ensure the building of that pipeline (in the form of a paid ad in the New York Times) isn't surprising. What is striking, however, is that one of the...

  • The "Cracked' Actor
    By Linda P. Schaab
    Steve is performing with his band at jam night in a downtown Vancouver bar. After doing several of the band’s original songs, they end their set with a cover of a CCR song. Using the well-known change to the line, “There’s a bad moon on the rise,” Steve sings instead, “There’s a bathroom on the right.” Michelle works for HMP Music in Vancouver, in their Artists and Repertoire department. Knowledgeable...

  • The Free Bird
    By Linda P. Schaab
    Going on a dating site, Melanie connects with Carlos, a musician, and he invites her to his gig that night. Melanie is unsure about meeting Carlos. What does she really know about him? But she calls her friend, Bridget, and they head down to the bar. When Melanie arrives Carlos is onstage, playing lead guitar with a drummer and a bassist. The women are seated at a table up front when, between songs, a man at the bar shouts out, “FREEBIRD!”...

Search Tips:
  • To search for an exact phrase, enclose in quotes.
  • To search for ALL of several words or phrases, use AND between each word or phrase.
  • Enter multiple words to return results with ANY of the words (not necessarily all of the words).

Promote Your Business

Social Activity

Top ^