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Thomas Sullivan

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  • Angela Merkel: Snowden to Testify in Germany
    Merkel implies Germany to invade France.

    By: Thomas Sullivan
    (SNN) - German lawmakers investigating US surveillance of Angela Merkel’s mobile phone said on Wednesday that they would try to take evidence from NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden. But they ruled out allowing Snowden to travel to Berlin. Suppressing a laugh while his nose appeared to enlarge, Interior Minister Hans-Peter Friedrich told reporters: “We will stick to our decision that Mr Snowden has no right to asylum in Germany...

  • The Next Fake Scandal
    By Thomas Sullivan
    “Hello?” “Good evening, is Emma Smith available?” “Speaking, and this is…?” “Hello Emma, I’m with Johnson And Associates. We’re a national, non-partisan polling firm gauging voter sentiment for the upcoming mid-term elections. Do you have a moment to answer a few short questions?” “Well, the grandkids will be coming by soon. But if it’s quick I suppose I could...

  • The Final Season
    By Thomas Sullivan
    “…and if I ever lose a ball, stand in shock and watch it fall, I whoah-oh-oh-oh-ohnt, whoah-oh-oh-oh-ohnt, "I won’t have to screw no more.” I lower the acoustic guitar and look at the panel of judges. The man and two women sit stone-faced silent with wide eyes, temporarily at a loss for words. I’m sure I nailed the song, especially that last verse, so they’re probably searching in their minds for the appropriate...

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