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15 Things I Know to Be True about Self-Discipline

  1. I don't have much.
  2. It is much easier to think up slogans about self-discipline than to be working on what you should be working on.
  3. Styles of Self-Discipline vary. An athlete eating waffles instead of working out lacks self-discipline. A writer eating waffles and watching infomercials is doing research and legally required to take frequent naps.
  4. Masochists are better at Self-discipline than Sadists. Sadists are better trainers, coaches, and assholes. 
  5. If self-discipline means eating well at every meal and never again eating delicious Oreos just to live a long life, explore the benefits of dying young and leaving a ravaged corpse. 
  6. If you don’t like the amount of self-discipline you’re giving yourself, fire yourself. Two weeks notice is standard.
  7. Before you engage in self-discipline, ask yourself: Who am I trying to impress? Or is that “Whom.” I could look it up, but, y’know...
  8. There is a difference between self-discipline and addictive behavior. Staying in shape is self-discipline. Training for Triathlons you never enter is an addiction. Or so I’ve been told.
  9. No one wants you to be more (or less) self-disciplined than the advertising industry. The difference is whether they are selling sporting equipment or the beer you drink later.
  10. If the person offering to teach you discipline has the word “Mistress” in her name or title, it may not be what you think.
  11. If you didn’t get to wear those snazzy workout outfits, would you work out anyway? News Bulletin: Ninety percent of all athletic wear is available pre sweat-stained. 
  12. Why practice self-discipline when there are so many Sadists anxious to help? That may sound obvious but in any top 15 list, the 12th entry is always the obvious one. You can look it up.
  13. Just a quick reminder that self-discipline isn’t the one with all the whips, chains and leather.  Sorry.
  14. You can disagree with my findings, but if you claim you are Self-Disciplined, how can you justify impulsively writing me an angry note telling me I’m an old Poopyhead?
  15. It is illegal to represent yourself as a Doctor of Self-Discipline if you are not actually a Doctor. I am not a Doctor and readily admit I haven’t a clue what I‘m talking about.

Photo: © John Corcoran Jr. All rights reserved.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is OPINION.The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Opinion and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
More from John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.



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