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Penis Theft Ring Causes Panic Among Africans


(SNN) - Nothing grabs a reader’s attention like a news story sprinkled with words like penis theft and genitalia shrinkage. Apparently, in parts of Africa there is an uprising of fear, panic and terror over an outbreak of penis theft and genital shrinkage. According to this belief system, a simple handshake or mere brush against a penile swindler, is all it takes to fall victim to either a shrivelling phallus or disappearance all together.

Koro, the term for shrunken or stolen peckers, is a real psychological/social phenomenon in which a people firmly and deeply believe in penis piracy.

California cultural anthropologist Louisa Lombard has studied the African regions where penis snatching or organ shrinkage has men, and their wives I’m sure, in hysterical terror of losing the family jewels. On one particular visit to the remote town of Tiringoulou, Lombard immediately noticed there was no elaborate greeting sessions, the norm when one enters an African village. The anthropologist learned the reason was fear, as the day before a man had come through the village and stopped to buy a cup of tea. The villager told Lombard that when the shopkeeper shook hands with the buyer, he felt a strange tingling and immediately felt his manhood shrink to the size of a baby’s.

Western scholars have noted that the penis theft/shrinkage outbreaks coincide with an increase in the practice of witchcraft. A local African shaman was asked how, if at all, we could help. He slowly shook his head and said, “Western medicine is no match for this magic.”

Probably not. But what we can do is not add to their fear by never telling them we westerners roast our wieners over fire, eat animal gonads while calling them something cute like prairie oysters, and most of all, make sure Africa never, ever hears we consider spotted dick a delectable delicacy.

RELATED STORY:  Genitalia Thefts are on a Rise in African Nations - SNN

DISCLAIMER: The above article is OPINION.The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Opinion and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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