(SNN) - The weather out here has been of the kind not usually reported for ‘Beautiful BC – The best place on Earth.’ Usually derided by the rest of the country as a province that has no clue what a Canadian winter really is, we have been living through weeks of non-stop torrential rain. Of course, we all knew it was coming when we had a two-month long drought last summer but, now that it’s here, we have all suffered from memory loss, and the atmosphere of damp, depressing grey hangs over everyone. As of today, it is so wet that Aquaman is feeling homesick. This must be the overall mood of the rain-swept Premier Christy Clark and the ruling BC Liberal party, too.
The last time, the Liberals were soundly beaten in an election almost twenty years ago, they emerged as a third party in provincial politics with only two seats. Right now, that looks like a target, rather than a hopeless disaster. They have reached the position in the run up to the Spring election that the only thing they have left to offer the electorate is a litany of disasters that the press falls on with the speed of the St. Peter’s Square crowd seeing a glimpse of white smoke from the chimney.
First came December’s budget update: “We are balanced.” They cried, only to back-pedal like Lance Armstrong twenty-four hours later saying they had misread the date, and, actually, they would be balanced by the time the house returned from their winter break. Unfortunately, this led to what I refer to as ‘Christmas Accounting’ by the press, electorate, Christmas visitors into Vancouver, and probably the Downtown East side’s homeless population: “If your major revenue is in natural resources, and the global price of these is lower than Mayor Rob Ford’s IQ, then how is the week-long Christmas break going to make them rise? Especially when hardly anyone on the planet is going to be working then?”
Following the admission of this somewhat Instagrammed financial picture, we now have an somewhat secretive Ethnic Vote plan surfacing. Not only have the party engaged in somewhat questionable Racial Profiling tactics to woo a non-white vote in May’s election, they used Tax-payer money to do it, and Civil Service personnel to get their hands dirty doing the grunt work: All of this during the run up to a global Bollywood Award ceremony that is being held in Western Canada, and out of India for the first time in its history. What? Curried Oolichan on your Japati, anyone?
All of these PR disasters have, of course, resulted in Press scrutiny of every program the Government is running that is closer than Ashton Kutcher’s legal team looking over Demi Moore’s divorce settlement. The Premier knows this – she used to be a journalist. Now every time she opens her mouth, her words come back to hurt her. In a recent off the cuff comment to a women’s conference, she described her ex-husband as ‘a microphone that wouldn’t stand up.’ As someone accustomed to live radio, Christy, please remember Rule #1: Don’t open the pot, unless you have something to say.’
I can imagine that she is praying for a meteor to come down somewhere in the Northern BC hinterland as it did in Russia. It would at least offer some kind of positive press for the party. Yes – it’s that bad. At present, their government is like our weather: Bleak, with more ‘Bronte-an’ drama to come.
Steve James is an Actor, Stand up and Comedy writer in Vancouver BC. He doesn’t vote, because it just lead to this kind of thing.
Photo by: Tom Grundy flickr photostream, Some Rights Reserved, The Sage nor the article endorsed.
More Satire News
-
Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
-
Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
-
How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
-
North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
-
Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
-
It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
-
Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
-
My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
-
Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
-
Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...