
Queen's Hat Fails Colour Test
Photo: Note - hat colour removed re publication ban
(SNN) - The opening of Royal Ascot brought out the Queen in her horse drawn carriage this last week. The betting on her hat color was fierce, with purple taking 10 to 1 odds and burnt orange a long shot at 50 to 1.
When the Queen emerged from her carriage, those betting on purple jumped for joy. However, when approached by the Royal Ascot reporter who asked about why she chose purple again this year, the Queen retorted, “My hat is not purple, it's lavender.”
The book makers took note and informed all holders of purple they would not be winners. Only those lucky few who bet on lavender at 18 to 1 odds were winners. An angry queue soon formed at the book makers with purple bettors insisting lavender was simply a shade of purple. The lavender bettors pointed out that even wedding planners know the difference between purple and lavender.
Violet bettors arrived insisting they were the violated ones. A scuffle ensued and the police appeared on the scene. Purple, lavender and violet were booked for disrupting the peace and royal racing. One purple was booked for violet assault when he ripped the very large floppy lavender hat off Lady Violet DeLille, a friend of the Queen.
His Lordship Sir Paul Violet-Lavender expressed outrage at the incident. He remarked, “Such violence over a simple color disagreement is ridiculous. It’s an embarrassment to this proceeding. I don’t see the reason, but then again I’m color blind.”
Unaltered Photo: Some Right Reserved by Michael Gwyther-Jones flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.
More Satire News
-
Dogs, Drugs, and Forgiveness
Wednesday, October 25, 2017
(SNN) Oh my goodness. Just heard that the four time champion of Alaska's Iditarod may have given his dogs drugs to enhance their speed. Now, I wonder if my former Golden Labrador dog Charlie (Charles Worthington ...
-
Tragedy Strikes Sullivan's Pond
Monday, August 14, 2017
(SNN) After being sent yesterday by The Sage News Network to cover a memorial held for two geese that had been tragically run over, I sit at home today enjoying delicious foie gras on crackers. The event was held ...
-
How to Make Love in a Canoe
Monday, July 03, 2017
One night a young amorous Sioux Had a date with a maiden he knioux; The coroner found The couple had drowned Making love in a leaky canoe -Anonymous (SNN) The French gave the world a kiss, the Spanish provided an ...
-
North Korea Axes Public Executions
Tuesday, June 20, 2017
(SNN) Pyongyang, North Korea –In response to a major shift in US Foreign Policy and rumors of a possible state visit by US President Donald Trump, North Korean authorities have been ordered to curtail public trials ...
-
Senior Duffers Rules of Golf
Sunday, June 18, 2017
(SNN) It’s Spring and the thoughts of masochists turn to golf. When people ask me if I play golf, I respond: "I play a game similar to golf, only with more lurching about and travel." Actually there's nothing similar ...
-
It (Usually) Never Rains In California
Thursday, February 09, 2017
(SNN) When I was notified I had won a prize for rainmaking I was gob-smacked while trying to close my umbrella. The last one to win that prestigious award was Burt Lancaster whom I’m often mistaken for without my ...
-
Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress: Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”) 10. Most academy award nominations for ...
-
My Aching Back and the Magical Little Christmas Tree
Wednesday, December 21, 2016
(SNN) We moved from Washington DC to Los Angeles CA in the Summer of 1983, lock, stock, dog and our two kids—John, almost eight, and Andrew almost four. They adjusted to their new environs as best they could. Come ...
-
Road-Tested and Ready
Thursday, December 08, 2016
(SNN) I don’t list Automotive Writer on my resume, but my need for new transportation has led me to a new car search. I went to a couple of recent auto shows, road-tested several models—some cars too—and did my ...
-
Trump: Worse Than a Poke in the Knee with a Sharp Scalpel?
Saturday, November 19, 2016
(SNN) I am a glutton for punishment. That’s why I scheduled a visit with an Osteopathic Surgeon the day after the Presidential election. I figured if worst came to worst at the polls, the prospeceet of major surgery ...