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Here are the Latest Headlines The Sage is working on.

Chelsea Clinton’s Baby’s Approval Rating Drops to 8% Among Republicans

(SNN) - after a blistering, three-day attack on Fox News

Outbreak of Ebola Paranoia Worse than the Real Disease

(SNN) - “The spreading of overblown facts and contrived fiction has all of us worried, “ said the director of the Center for Psychological Disease Control yesterday. “The good news is that it’s contained to those who watch Fox News. The bad news is that nothing in our arsenal of psychological techniques seems to have any effect whatsoever.”

Women Come Up with Better Solution to Domestic Violence than NFL

(SNN) - “Forget adding weeks and weeks of rigorous training on anger management, parenting of toddlers and avoiding spouse abuse to the spring training program,” said just one of the hundreds of thousands of women, who nearly overloaded Twitter, “the next time any one of them pulls that kind of stunt, all 44% of us are going to pour out of the stands and do a Beyoncé’s sister on his ass.”

California Requiring Explicit ‘Yes’ Before Having Sex Changes Single’s Scene

(SNN) - Napkin coasters in single’s bars have been replaced with consent forms, which the bartenders will witness and notarize.

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DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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