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Snubs and Flubs at the Oscar Nominations

By John "Cork" Corcoran Jr.
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
11. Worse singing by a nominated Actress:
 
Meryl Streep, in “Florence Foster Jenkins.” (This is her second nomination in this category. She won previously for “Mama Mia”)
 
10. Most academy award nominations for a movie about the hopes and dreams of young people who come to Los Angeles to fulfill their hopes and dreams of coming to Los Angeles, voted by people who came to Los Angeles and fulfilled the hopes and dreams they hoped and dreamed when they came to Los Angeles: 
 
Fourteen, for La La Land, a movie about the hopes and dreams of young people who come to Los Angeles to fulfill their hopes and dreams of coming to Los Angeles.
 
9. First Academy Award nomination to an alleged anti-Semite since Walt Disney died: 
 
Mel Gibson. 
 
8. First nomination for a supporting actor with the first name of Mahershala:
 
Mahershala Ali for “Moonlight”
 
7. Best Boost to a Best Actress Nominee’s chance to be nominated:
 
Donald J. Trump and his magical tweet fingers for attacking Meryl Street after the Golden Globes.
 
6. Two Actresses who, if they did not already, now wish Donald J. Trump would keep his Magical Tweet Fingers to himself: 
 
Amy Adams and Annette Benning, who both lost out to Meryl Streep.
 
5. Most Movies nominated that were named after living animals, vegetables, or beasts:  
 
Six—Lion, The Red Turtle, My Life as a Zucchini, The Lobster, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, and O.J.: Made in America
 
4. First Article of Furniture ordered by the Academy to be cancelled after nominations announced. 
 
A chair for Clint Eastwood to talk to in case he was nominated for Best Director.   
 
3. Best indication that Hollywood frequent fliers wouldn’t mind it a bit if some airline passengers, like that jerk who won’t stop his kid from kicking the back of their seat on airliners, had drowned in the Hudson: 
 
The snubbing of “Sully,” where all passengers survive the Hudson crash.
 
2. Worst Consolation Prize. (Shared by Tom Hanks and Amy Adams): 
 
ABC’s apology to both actors after accidentally announcing they both had been nominated.
 
1. Most Likely Prediction by a sitting U.S. President of numbers of viewers who will watch the upcoming Oscar Telecast: 
 
“Fewer than watched my beautiful Inaugural”—Donald J. Trump
 
PHOTO: Some rights reserved. Image from Davidlohr Buesco flickr photostream. Original photo can be found here.
DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
 
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