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Otterman Returns

PHOTO: Our Hero In A Pensive Mood

(SNN) - With a renewed interest in comic books thanks to the recent cinematic successes of Captain America and Spider-Man, Marvel is dusting down its back catalogue in search of its next money-spinning franchise. "He swims like a dog and drinks like a fish" was the tagline for the largely forgotten superhero, Otter Man. Devised by the legendary partnership of Stan Lee and David Attenborough, the character was not well received when he made his first appearance in 1974. His alter ego, Howard Throng, was an alcoholic millionaire, who had been savaged by a radioactive otter while skinny dipping in a coolant tank at the Seven Mile Island Nuclear Power Plant and Resort. After the attack, Throng was transformed into Otter Man, a semi-aquatic crime buster with a penchant for fresh water and upholstered footstools. 

Aided by his trusty sidekick, Jimmy Dorsel (aka Beaver Boy), Otter Man would fight evildoers, such as the Red Krill and Dr Platypus. In line with their other creations, Lee and Attenborough peppered their stories with amusing quips and bestowed Beaver Boy with the catchphrase, "Dam it!". They also ensured that the duo had a natural weakness, which could be exploited by successive antagonists. Whereas Superman had to contend with kryptonite, Otter Man and Beaver Boy were frequently out of their depth when faced with bathnite. 

Although the comic seemed to have all the elements to make it a hit, it flopped with readers everywhere. As sales plummeted, Marvel did everything possible to turn around its fortunes, pitting Otter Man against foes with ever-increasing academic qualifications. The strategy culminated in a final battle with a discredited orthopaedic sturgeon called Professor Caviar.

This time, the enemy proved too much for the heroes and they were last seen being eaten alive by a 50 foot tall robotic flamingo. While their demise was not mourned particularly at the time, the pair have slowly gained a cult following. Now, after a petition signed by literally several fans, Marvel is preparing to launch a new series of Otter Man comics and has plans for a motion picture. Location scouts are already said to be scouring Canada for a suitable place to film, although industry insiders report that the most likely candidate is where else but Otterwa.

Unaltered Photo: Some Righst Reserved by Tambaku the Jaguar flickr photostream, The Sage nor this article endorsed. The original image can be found here.

DISCLAIMER: The above article is provided for entertainment purposes only and the article, image or photograph held out as news is a parody or satirical and therefore faux in nature and does not reflect the actions, statements or events of real persons. The opinions, beliefs and viewpoints expressed by the authors of The Sage Satire and forum participants on this web site do not necessarily reflect the opinions, beliefs and viewpoints of the The Sage News Network or the official policies of the The Sage News.
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